"You Were Bought In A Child Trafficking Ring." The Most Haunting Deathbed Confessions People Have Heard.

If the last thing on someone's mind, while they're dying, is not their happy moments but an urge to share a secret, imagine the burden it must have been for the person to live with it the entire life. And the peace they must've felt while finally spilling it - maybe even worth dying for.

Below is a list of deathbed confessions that shook everyone.

My mum was from China though we now happily reside in a European country. We went back to China for my grandmother's last few weeks, she was dying from terminal cancer.

On one of her last days, grandma requested that mum stay with her alone, and it was then when she revealed that my mum wasn't her biological kid. My grandma confessed that she bought my mum from a child trafficking ring (which was common in China), because she had tried conceiving for many years but still couldn't get pregnant.

My mother cried a lot, not only from the unimaginable pain that her biological parents likely went through in losing a baby, but also from the fact that my grandparents had always gone beyond their limits to treat her as their little princess. They were never abusive and only gave her the very best of everything. They even send her to the US for university education even though they weren't that rich.


In 1934 a doctor named Robert Kenneth Wilson offered a picture to the Daily Mail newspaper. Wilson told the newspaper he noticed something moving in Loch Ness and stopped his car to take the photo. Wilson refused to have his name associated with it so the photo became known simply as The Surgeons Photo. 

In the early 1930s, sightings of the Loch Ness Monster became commonplace, so Marmaduke Wetherall, a big game hunter, was hired by the Daily Mail newspaper to investigate. He found some huge tracks leading to the lake that he proudly displayed to the press. When the Natural History Museum investigated they quickly discovered that the footprints were a hoax. Wetherell was humiliated when the newspaper reported this. For revenge he asked his stepson Chris Spurling who was a professional model-maker to make something that would fool the public. Spurling started with a toy submarine and then added a long neck and small head. The finished product was about 45 cm long, and about 30 cm high. Wetherell then went down to the lake and took some pictures of the monster. To add respectability to the hoax he convinced Dr. Wilson whom he knew through a mutual friend to develop the photo and sell it to the Daily Mail.

For decades this photo was considered to be the best evidence of the existence of the Loch Ness Monster. In 1994 at the age of 93 and near death Christian Spurling confessed that the surgeons photo taken 60 years ago was a hoax and the mastermind behind it was his Stepfather Marmaduke Wetherell. 


All his life my dad grew up thinking he was adopted from a woman who went to my grandparent's church and got pregnant out of a broken marriage. He was told his father died before he was even born. My grandpa confessed on his deathbed that he actually had an affair with that church woman and he was actually my dad's real father, which was why he suggested adopting him in the first place.

My dad was in tears regretting every time he had taken up grudge against my grandpa and ended on "You're not even my real father." 


William Desmond Taylor was an actor and a top US film director of silent films in the early days of Hollywood. When Taylor was shot to death in 1922 it became one of Hollywoods most famous scandals and mysteries. 

In 1964, 42 years later, a reclusive old woman living in Hollywood had a heart attack when she summoned her neighbour. With her recent conversion to Catholicism she asked for a priest to confess but when no Priest was available she began to make her confession to the neighbour.

As she was dying on her kitchen floor she said she was a silent film actress by the name of Margaret Gibson and that she shot and killed the man named William Desmond Taylor. She is alleged to have been involved romantically with Taylor but a motive as to why she killed him was never mentioned.


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It's not exactly on the death bed, but is close as it gets. My aunt had cancer. She knew she was going to die and she knew it would probably be in less than a week. She couldn't eat and drinking was panful. She wanted to be sedated heavily (kept asleep permanently, essentially) for the last few days because this whole dying thing was getting on her nerves. She said she has had more than enough of it.

So fair enough, a doctor was called up, a plan is made and carried out. The last thing my aunt said before going under for the rest of her life was, 

"Ah, I see the stars, they're sweet and run carefree. Gather them up..." and that's when she went under. She died 3 days later.

Nobody knows what she meant. But somehow, those last words fit her. My uncle (her husband) got them tattooed on his chest, over his heart, and now says there's something magical about those words, they take him to her.


I'm a medical student and I had a fairly young female patient who was new to our hospital and was HIV positive. I needed to ask her how she got the virus, i.e via sexual transmission or level IV drugs. 

She tells me it was sexually transmitted, and the only reason she got tested was because her partner last words to her as he was dying in hospice were "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I wanted to tell you; forgive me." 

I was instantly traumatized, and felt how gutsy was this lady.


My grandpas whole career was in the military. He had joined it just when he turned 18, shortly after World War II. Him and his 6 brothers all joined at the same time but none get put into the same squad. Their first time seeing combat was in Korea. 

My grandpa was a paratrooper and one of his brothers was a field medic. He said that during a really intense fire fight, his squad crossed paths with his brother's squad. His brother was trying to help an injured squad member and died in the process. 

We only knew the part above. What follows is something he couldn't share until very recently, when he fell terminally ill. I have never heard someone confess to something this horrifying ever in my life. 

He said his brother was shot 3 times - twice in the back and once in the chest. And my grandpa ran to drag him out of the way. He held his brother in his arm behind cover and comforted him as he died. He knew his brother wasn't making it out of this serious injury. His brother died a few minutes after and this made something in my grandpas head just snap.

For the rest of the war, he used the Koreans as his way of dealing with the anger of his brother dying. He went from being a terrified, inexperienced combat troop to a killing machine. He said during the rest of the war, he felt no fear, only hatred. He would fight with incredible zeal and ferocity. He didn't specify how many people he actually killed. All he said was "The day my brother died was the day I became a killer". He didn't say how many he actually killed because "If I told you, you would see me as a much different man. I wasn't a man at that point. I was a cold hearted murderer out to watch them suffer". He claimed that when the opportunity came, he would actively try to inflict as much agony on enemy troops as possible. When they were injured and on the ground, he would beat them, kick them, cut off their fingers, knock their teeth out, stomp on their legs to break them etc. He only did this when there was no other allies around. He literally started acting like a serial killer torturing his victims and didn't want any of his fellow troops to see him do this. It was dishonorable and inhumane but he didn't care. He was just filled with rage.

My grandpa received a purple heart and multiple prestigious military honors once the war was over. He said that if anyone found out about the horrors and inhumane actions he committed during the war, the awards would probably have been taken away. He said his time in Korea was the only time he felt like something other than human. He said it made him feel like a truly evil force, and he liked it. This shocked us since he was the kindest, most gentle man I had ever known. He never swore, never got angry and was incredibly tame and loving. His marriage was fantastic and he made sure to show my dad and my aunt nothing but love when they were growing up. You would never take him as the type of guy to excitedly kill people in battle. My grandpa died with a lot of secrets that we will now never know. He only confessed to his horribly dirty fighting tactics in war because he wanted to die with some of his conscience clear. He never even told my grandma about what he did during the war until this point.

I believe he had some underlying problems that led to him acting like he did in war. He said it was a blood lust that he had never felt before and the sight of enemy Koreans suffering in pain got him excited and bursting with happiness. My grandpa wasn't a bad man. I believe the stress of the war and his brother dying in his arms was enough for him to go against everything he previously stood for. He went into the war with the intent to serve his country but ended up fighting for his own blood lust and rage. I can't ask him to tell me more since he's been long dead, but I believe he did much worse than just torture injured enemies.


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Something really surprising and more sad than anything.

I was really close to my granny but I never had the heart to tell her I'm gay as I had only heard her say negative things about homosexuality, whenever the topic sprung up. I didn't want to upset her or cause family problems.

Towards the end she suffered strokes and was unable to talk. I, my mother and my uncle were in the hospital with her while she was dying. During this time she confessed to me she always knew I am gay, but she didn't care and would always love me. I regret not having enough courage to confront to her myself, while she has healthy. There's so much I had to hide from her for no reason at all.


Me and all of my cousins were gathered around my grandfathers hospice bed as he laid there dying. Each and every one of my cousins, there's a lot of us, gave him a kiss, tried to talk to him and said they loved him. But he wouldn't respond to any of them, just stared back. Until I came up. 

I sat on the edge of his bed, holding his hand. Everyone was watching us. He looked me in the eye, and said, "I don't like Mexican food." with a lot of pain.

Everyone was in shocked, including me. I knew he didn't like tacos in particular.

No. No one laughed. And we're not Mexicans.


One of my uncle had been in a car accident. It was bad. 

In the ambulance on the way to the hospital he said, "tell my wife that Wendy (name changed) is my daughter and I love her." He died a few minutes later because of internal bleeding.

Wendy was the neighbours' then 5 year old child. 

Those last words caused a HUGE STORM in that neighbourhood - neighbours got divorced and several years of court case on child custody followed. I sometime wonder how different things would have been if my uncle hadn't got a chance to confess. 


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My Grand mother was super religious her whole life. Always going to church and doing right by her community. 

In her LAST HOURS she said she really did not believe in god and wished she had not wasted all that time of her life doing what she thought others wanted her to do. I was okay, but my dad and my aunt were in complete shock. My grandpa was deeply moved and was really sorry - he said he had no clue.


I have a great aunt that passed away when I was 17. Just before she did my older brother confessed to her that I was gay and that no one in the family knows about it. 

She called me in and explained how our family has been through so much and that she was willing to totally accept me for who I am. I think that is great of her to be that open minded. Only one problem-I'm not gay. She never believed me because my brother had "confessed" it, and she died thinking I am gay, happy that I shared my secret with her.


Back in 1975, Wayman Cammile Jr., a black construction worker, was sentenced to 15 years in prison for the rape of Alice Mock, who told police he had raped her after he was found drunk in her bed. He had already served 11 of those years, when Alice Mock finally revealed the truth while on her deathbed; she admitted to a former neighbour that she had lied about the rape.

She was worried she would be evicted if her landlord discovered she had willingly had a relationship with a black man. Mock revealed to the shocked neighbour that she had invited Cammile, a known alcoholic, into her apartment and had stolen money from him when he had passed out drunk, then in a panic had made the false claim to the police. She fell into a coma the day after making the confession and died five days later.

One year later a newspaper headline read - Deathbed Confession Frees Man Who Spent 12 Years In Jail.

Newspaper article

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My grandfather was in the hospital in a pretty nasty state. He barely could speak, but he made it clear to us he had something to say. He had my mother get him a piece of paper and a pen. Thinking he has some important words to leave us with in case he doesn't have a chance later, my mom does gets a paper and a pen. There's silence in the room as he scribbles something onto the paper, with my mother and her two siblings waiting in anticipation. 

My grandfather finishes, and with a big smile turns the paper for us to see.

"I've got a girlfriend." It read, as he pointed to Anna, a neighbour and friend of his.

The goofball ended up pulling through and living for several more years.


Within my family, my great uncle or something similar that I never met died in the early 70s. He was on his deathbed when my grandpa asked him "So....who are you really? I know you're not from our family."

Turned out the real uncle had gotten his Italian citizenship and within the first year of that realized that he could live there forever.

So when he went home, US, one of his friends asked if he could just take the uncle's ID since the friend always wanted to live in the US. My uncle said sure.

This was in the 30's, so it's not that surprising this worked.


In 1991, after years of domestic violence, Geraldine Kelly shot and killed her husband and stored his body in a freezer at their home in Ventura, California. She told her young children that their father died in a car accident. Seven years later when she decided to move back home to Somerville Massachusetts she had the moving company move the freezer with the body inside and drive it across the country to a local storage facility in Somerville. In 2004, 13 years after the murder Kelly was gravely ill with breast cancer and confessed to her daughter that she had killed her father claiming he abused her for years and then told her where to find his body. Authorities investigated and found human remains in a locked, unplugged freezer in the storage room. The body was mummified but identified as John Kelly based on distinctive tattoos he was known to have including a panther, a Kewpie doll and a skull. The cause of death was a gunshot to the back of the head. 

The District Attorney of Somerville said it wasnt clear if Kelly wanted to unburden herself or if she wanted her children to know so if they found the body they wouldnt be blamed for it.


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My mom told me about the death of her father, my grandfather, and his last words to her. She said he was on his deathbed and it was obvious that he was nearing the end. 

He motioned her over to tell her something. She went over, leaned in close, expecting some declaration of his love for her or some deeply insightful words of wisdom. He said "The good family silverware is hidden in the ventilation system about 15 feet out from the furnace." 

She looked at him like he was crazy. He said "What!! We travel a lot and that's where I hid it. That thing's expensive!" He died the next morning.


My great uncle admitted that he had killed his first wife by beating her to death with a bowling ball because he found her molesting their neighbour's son when he was 5 years old. This was when he lived in Ireland and a few years later he moved to America met another woman and lived his life happily had a number of kids and gran-kids. 

It put most of the family into shock as my great uncle was one of the most non-violent people you would ever meet. No explanation on how he got away with it, or any more than that. He died about 3 minutes after his confession. This deeply shook my family up for a long while.


My grandma's brother was in his final moments and he confessed to his wife that he was cheating her a lot, with 3 women. 

He confessed because he was afraid of go to hell, but looks like God has other plans to him. Unfortunately for him, in a blink of an eye he got better and better, and 1 week later was released by the doctors. 

His wife's brother was a lawyer, they sued him and took away almost everything from him. He lived for more 7 years, without any money. All women and their children abandoned him, so he died alone at home.



Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like


My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308


My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango


I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina


With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3



I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold


Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.

I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-


Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.

An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451


Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence


How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster


My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"



It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?


I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)

The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.


Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.

I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.


Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.


Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.



Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.




3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.


Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.


Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.


Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.



My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.



How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).

How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.


Dogs and Chocolate


I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.


Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.


Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.


Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.


Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.


Stars In Their Multitude


I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.



My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.


Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.


Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...


Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.