You've Been Doing It All Wrong: What Actually Helps When You're Hungover.
It's your birthday. You just wanted a quiet night in but your friends convince you that you should go out for a couple drinks, using clich but convincing phrases like "you're only young once" and "you don't want to be the boring one like Brian".
So you end up at a bar that you've never been to before. The music is loud, the lighting is dim and suddenly there's a drink in front of you. Right when you finish the final drop of the first drink, another is thrust is front of you.
Next thing you remember, you're waking up in your bed, clothes from the night before still clinging to your sweaty body and a message from your ex saying "why did you call me four times last night?". Then you notice the headache. Actually, it's more of a whole body ache.
Well, don't fret because we're going to tell you the do's and don'ts of hangover cures. Maybe you'll be able to salvage the rest of your hung over day.
Let's start with the first thing: breakfast.
It's pretty common that people claim a greasy breakfast will get your back on your feet the quickest. It's as if the greasy food soaks up all the feelings of regret and self-loathing into one oversized, oily package.
However, this is not the case. The only thing that greasy food has been scientifically proven to give you is heartburn.
So you pass on going out for a greasy breakfast. But what about drinking more alcohol? "Hair of the dog" is a popular treatment people swear by to getting over even the most harrowing of hangovers.
This would also be ill-advised. Drinking more may temporarily make you feel better and alleviate some of the hangover symptoms, but in the long run will only make matters worse.
At this point, your head is pounding. You walk to your medicine cabinet to get some sweet relief, and locate a bottle of acetaminophen.
STOP RIGHT THERE.
Don't take it. Acetaminophen (e.g. Tylenol) is metabolized through your liver the same place the copious amounts of alcohol is being processed.
Take an aspirin or ibuprofen instead. That will help with the headache while leaving your poor liver alone.
So, what does work?
Well, hangovers are caused by a combination of low blood sugar, poor sleep and dilated blood vessels causing headaches. It's not really because of dehydration, although that is a symptom of consuming alcohol. Still a good idea to drink lots of water, but remember to replenish your blood sugar and get some rest as well. Aspirin and ibuprofen can help reduce pain due to dilated blood vessels in the mean time.
Whoops. That snip was just a hair too far....
Your first bad haircut probably made you want to die a little when you looked in the mirror. Imagine how the person cutting your hair must have felt. Although, maybe they didn't care at all, as evidenced by the bs excuse they gave you when you finished in the barber chair.