History Buffs Reveal The Coolest People Throughout Time That No One Has Ever Heard About


There are so many fascinating people who came before us who have been all but forgotten. History curricula always seem to cover the same people and the same events, especially in the US.

Reddit user u/Jcaf8 asked:

"History lovers of Reddit, whose the coolest person in history no one has ever heard of?"


Vasil Levski, Bulgarian revolutionary during the final decades of the Ottoman Empire. Used disguises to evade capture for years and created an elaborate autonomous government that angered Ottoman and Bulgarian overlords alike, including a mail service and constitution. Until him, most anti-Ottoman antagonists used guerrilla warfare, but he saw the need to develop a stable government to take over after Ottoman rule. When he was captured he absolutely refused to name any of his co-conspirators and suffered greatly for it before he was finally hung outside of Sofia. He had the kind of foresight rare in anti-government antagonists.

-User Account Deleted


exekias, 5th century BC ( we're fairly sure of that) Athenian pottery artist essentially was the first person to produce incised depictions of human characters with any level of details because his techniques allowed for smaller more intricate details. This technique was then adopted by the majority of potters and was still in at the time of the fall of Byzantium nearly 20 centuries later.



Mary Elizabeth Bowser. She was a spy in the Confederate White House (working as a servant) and leaked a bunch of stuff to the Union. Jefferson Davis knew there was a spy, but never suspected her because she was black.



There are plenty of them. One of my favorite doesn't actually involve a person but a bear. Wojtek was a Syrian brown bear bought as a pet. His owner was part of a Polish artillery section and they eventually trained the bear to help haul ammunition from the depot to the guns. It's a cool story.



Carolus Rex or Charles the 12th of Sweden. Single handedly fought Russia and others leading only a small army of Swedes. Despite being outnumbered he would somehow pull out a win. Also know as a warrior king he would lead his men into battle something not as common in this time period. He was unfortunately killed in battle close to the end of the great northern war



Vera Atkins was a spy for the allies and worked with the man who is said to have inspired the character of James Bond. One of her specialties was improvising weapons on the fly. Her exploits are chronicled in a really excellent book called "Spymistress."



Olga of Kiev. Murdered an entire nation of Drevlians in righteous vengeance for slaying her husband over a tax dispute by using doves. Still got to be a Saint.


My god I forgot about this pillar of badassery. Her husband the prince gets tricked and killed by a group of overconfident bros (the Drevians), and Olga basically makes it her life's mission to kill them, everyone who knows them, everyone related to them, and anyone that gets in her way.

Killing this prince makes them even more overconfident, so they send a group of 20 men to Olga to try and convince her to marry one of them, so they'd have rights to her country. She buries them alive.

She sends word back to their home base that she's planning to accept their offer (no cell phones back then, home base hadn't gotten word about the burying), but only if they send a group of their highest ranked folks to walk her back to them. They gladly comply, send a group of chieftains (basically their entire ruling class), she tells them to clean up in the bath house after they arrive. She burns it down with all of them inside.

She then sends word back to the Drevian capital to start preparing a grand feast for their arrival. When she gets there, all the Drevians get sh*tfaced and her soldiers kill like 5,000 of them.

The survivors beg for mercy, and she basically says "look, I'm not heartless. You've all suffered. Just give me three pigeons and three sparrows from each house and we're all good". They do, and she has her soldiers tie burning sulfur to each one with thread. They instinctively fly home, and every single household erupts in flames basically simultaneously.



I'm not sure it's the coolest, but I went a surprising amount of time without hearing about (Saint) Maximilian Kolbe, and I honestly believe he should be a household name.

He was a Polish Catholic priest who was arrested and sent to Auschwitz after publishing anti-Nazi publications. When a prisoner in Auschwitz escaped, it was common punishment to kill ten people in his place, and on this day it was decided that 10 would be murdered in starvation chambers. One person chosen at random cried out for mercy, and Maximilian took his place. As the ten lay in the starvation chamber he led them in prayer and despite two weeks without food or water, stood up and looked at the Nazi guards calmly every time they entered to remove the dead. Running out of patience, the Nazi guards eventually killed him by lethal injection.

He's a national hero in Poland, but his is a name I'd really like known world over.


The random guy was called Franciszek Gajowniczek. He was a polish army sergeant captured by gestapo after escaping POW camp. He had a wife and 2 sons (both died at war) and that is one of the reasons why he was saved by Rajmund Kolbe (Maksymilian Maria were his religious names, he was a friar in st. Francis order.) Franciszek survived the war and died in 1995.



Mannerheim is fairly unknown outside of Finland, he was the tsar's bodyguard and one of the first Europeans to meet Dalai Lama, escaped Russia during the revolution and came to Finland to lead the whites in Finnish civil war.

Later lead the Finnish army in Winter War and Continuation War, giving the Red Army a good fight and then became Finland's sixth president.

The highest military award you can earn in Finland is named after him as well.


Even before civil war he was badass. He fought in the Manchurian war against Japan, during which he also led a Chinese bandit raiding party. Later, the Tsar sent him undercover to spy in northern China for three years.



The nameless Berserker of Stamford Bridge. He held off an entire English Army alone on a small bridge, with just his big dane axe. No arrow could bring him down.

Only later did someone poke him from underneath the bridge into his balls...

He instantly went to Valhalla.



Before we start: count the number of times he gets severely wounded, shot, or survives something he really shouldn't.

Adrian carton de Wiart. A belgian born british commander and gentleman. Early he abandoned college in order to enlist in the army (even though he was too young) and went to south africa fighting in the second boer war where he was wounded in the stomach and groin. In 1907 he became a british subject and in 1908 he married a countess.

He later fought in the first world war in the somaliland campaign where he was shot twice in the face losing one eye and part of an ear. Despite this he traveled to the western front. He was wounded seven more times in the war, losing his left hand in 1915 and pulling off his fingers when a doctor declined to remove them. He was shot through the skull and the ankle at Somme through the hip at Passchandaele through the leg at Cambrai, and through the ear at Arras. During the interwar period he spent much time in Poland and fighting in the polish-soviet war.

During world war 2 he fought in Poland and Norway before being sent to garrison Northern Ireland as he was too old to lead troops in active combat. In 1941 he was sent to negotionate with the Yugoslav government but his plane crashed after a refuel at Malta and he was knocked unconscious. After regaining consciousness thanks to the cold water he and the others were captured by italians who brought him to a prison camp for senior british officers.

He made five attempts at escaping and succeeded once, unfortunately he was a 61 year old man with an empty sleeve, an eye patch half and ear and several other battle scars, oh and also, he was in the middle of northern Italy with no capability to speak italian. After 8 days he was recaptured. After being freed he attended the Cairo conference and is seen on the picture from said event together with Winston Churchill, Franklin.D.Roosevelt and Chiang Kai Shek.

After the war he retired, remarried and settled down in Cork, Ireland.



Major Digby Tatham-Warter, whose Wikipedia entry reads like the synopsis of an amazing WWII action-comedy. Among other noteworthy items, he carried an umbrella everywhere because he had trouble remembering passwords and reasoned that anyone who saw him would assume that only a "bloody fool Englishman" would carry an umbrella into battle. At one point he disabled an armored car using his umbrella. He was eventually captured but escaped and led 150 escaped POW's back across the lines to freedom, on bicycles.

After the war is he credited with inventing the modern safari, where animals are photographed instead of killed.



An unknown Soviet tank crew that held an entire German division back for a day in the Battle of Raseiniai in 1941.

From Between Giants: The Battle for the Baltics in World War II:

A KV-1 or KV-2 tank (accounts vary) advanced far behind the German lines after attacking a column of German trucks. The tank stopped on a road across soft ground and was engaged by four 50 mm anti-tank guns of the 6th Panzer Division anti-tank battalion. The tank was hit several times but fired back, disabling all four guns. A heavy 88 mm gun of the divisional anti-aircraft battalion was moved about 730 m (800 yd) behind the tank but was knocked out by the tank before it could score a hit.

During the night, German combat engineers tried to destroy the tank with satchel charges but failed despite possibly damaging the tracks. Early on the morning of 25 June, German tanks fired on the KV from the woodland while an 88 mm gun fired at the tank from its rear. Of several shots fired, only two penetrated the tank; German infantry advanced and the KV opening machine-gun fire against them and the tank was knocked out by grenades thrown into the hatches. According to some accounts, the crew was buried by the German soldiers with full military honors; in other accounts, the crew escaped during the night.



Not unknown but seems to be far less commonly known is Subutai, the main general under Genghis Khan and his son Ogedei. Was a brilliant strategist that could coordinate armies separated by hundreds of miles. He also conquered more territory than any other military commander in history.



Read this sentence:

Roman von Ungern-Sternberg, was an Austrian-born Russian anti-Bolshevik lieutenant general in the Russian Civil War and then an independent warlord whose Asiatic Cavalry Division wrested control of Mongolia from the Republic of China in 1921 after its occupation.

When I read his biography I had to keep fact checking because honestly, this guys life seems utterly unbelievable. He formed his own Mongol horde in goddamn 1921.

He was obviously an irredeemable @sshole, but what a wild life.



Zenobia, queen of the Palmyrene Empire. She was a warrior and well educated, fluent in several languages. After her husband was murdered, she became regent of her son. She seized control of territories in the east, conquered Egypt, and built a powerful empire. Later, she was captured after a Roman siege and executed. She is known as a heroic queen and a freedom fighter who inspired Catherine the Great.



Prince Michael of Romania (1921-2017)

He became King of Romania at the age of 6 following the death of his grandfather. (His father Carol has previously renounced the throne). The regency didn't work out so well, so Carol reclaimed the throne when Michael was 8. Carol was deposed by the Nazis in 1940 when Michael was 18. Michael took the throne, but the government was run by a Nazi puppet, whom Michael overthrew in 1944 when the country switched sides.

After the war, the monarchy was abolished by the communists, so he became an ordinary citizen. But unlike just about every other deposed monarch, he was loved by his people.

Fun fact: He was a field Marshall of the Romanian Army. When he died in 2017, he was by several decades the last surviving flag officer of World War II. (The nearest competitors died in the early 90s)



Phùng Thị Chính was a Vietnamese warrior who lead troops into battle against the Chinese while pregnant. Went into labor on the front lines, gave birth, and kept fighting carrying her newborn.

Yi Sun-sin was a Korean naval commander, except he never studied naval combat or strategy. he repeatedly fought back much larger Japanese fleets using superior strategy and just general ferocious bad-assery.

Both of these are well known in their respective cultures, but you rarely hear about them in western history classes.



Augusta Ada King, Countess of Lovelace (née Byron; 10 December 1815 – 27 November 1852) was an English mathematician and writer, chiefly known for her work on Charles Babbage's proposed mechanical general-purpose computer, the Analytical Engine. She was the first to recognise that the machine had applications beyond pure calculation, and published the first algorithm intended to be carried out by such a machine. As a result, she is sometimes regarded as the first to recognise the full potential of a "computing machine" and one of the first computer programmers.



Sybil Ludington.

At 16 years old, she volunteered to ride over 40 miles by horseback in the middle of the night to warn the Revolutionaries that the British were coming. It was originally suggested that her older brother make the trip, but she volunteered, claiming the British forces were a lot less likely to stop a young girl on the road. By the time the British troops arrived (about 400 of them), the town had been evacuated, thanks to Sybil.

She rode farther than Paul Revere, and is often referred to as "the female Paul Revere", even though she gets almost no historical credit. According to Wikipedia - "Prior to her famous ride, Sybil saved her father from capture. When a royalist named Ichobod Prosser tried, with 50 other royalists, to capture her father, Sybil lit candles around the house and organized her siblings to march in front of the windows in military fashion, creating the impression of many troops guarding the house. The royalist and his men fled" . So yeah....pretty bad @ss for a 16 year old girl in the 1700's...


Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like


My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308


My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango


I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina


With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3



I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold


Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.

I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-


Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.

An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451


Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence


How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster


My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"



It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?


I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)

The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.


Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.

I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.


Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.


Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.



Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.




3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.


Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.


Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.


Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.



My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.



How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).

How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.


Dogs and Chocolate


I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.


Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.


Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.


Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.


Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.


Stars In Their Multitude


I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.



My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.


Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.


Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...


Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.