People Reveal The Times They Just Couldn't Hold In Their Inappropriate Laughter
People Reveal The Times They Just Couldn't Hold In Their Inappropriate Laughter
I once caught an insane giggle fit during an incredibly emotional eulogy. I wasn't laughing at the death, obviously. There was a service dog near me that let out the most atrocious, silent dog fart I have ever had the misfortune of smelling. Watching everyone dressed in their fancies trying not to do the "who let that one rip" look around was hilarious.
Thankfully my giggles were predominantly misinterpreted as sobbing and I was graciously allowed to excuse myself to the ladies room to regain my composure. Only my bestie knew the truth, evidenced by the text I got while I was in the bathroom: "You're going to hell. Save me a seat." #FriendGoals
One Reddit user asked: When was a time when you had to hold in laughter, and failed?
Clearly, this was the thread for me. Buckle up, babies, it's about to get MAD INAPPROPRIATE in here.
Was having a rough time with my partner and someone recommended a marriage counselor. At the end of session the lady made us hold hands, look into each other's eyes, and then she started to sing a song, really loudly, in a horrible, cackly voice, "you are special, you are special, you are special to me." Needless to say, we were both struggling not to laugh until a small, high pitched "mmmmmmm" escaped through my husband's lips and we both lost it. The therapist lady was not pleased. Making us laugh was not the intention. She was pissed and stopped singing and just glared at us, which made it worse
This happened over ten years ago. We never went back to therapy ever again with anyone after that happened, but we are happily married and sing the special song to each other all the time, especially if the other person is acting particularly special at the moment.
I was at a funeral for a family friend who I didn't know very well. This was a natural woodland funeral. The deceased was brought into the gathering in a coffin made of wicker. I overheard my young cousins talking to each other. One asked: "Why is she in a basket?"
Shrill Church Lady Voice
I was in church a few years ago. It was a very serious, stuffy church - most of the congregation was in their 70s/80s. This was also the kind of church that world all you not to come back if you caused any story of trouble. My friends and I were sitting in the back pew. It was time for a hymn ("Hallelujah, Praise Jehovah"). We sang, things were going okay. Then we got to the first refrain.
To this day, we have no clue where this came from. The acoustics in room made it sound like she was everywhere, but this shrill church lady voice rose above all other voices in the sanctuary. "Hallelujah, PRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAISE JEHOOOOOVAH"
Guy friend on the end of the pew started giggling. The girl next to me was struggling, but she held fast. I was fine, but braced myself for the next repeat. Guy friend was too far gone the second time it happened and resorted to burying his face into the girl friend's shoulder. He was laughing so hard, she was shaking. She slowly raised the hymnal in front of her face and started laughing. The pastors kids who were sitting in front of us noticed and started laughing too. At this point, I lost it, doubled over in the hymnal.
So there we were. Three college kids and five children practically rolling in the back two pews. We're getting angry stares from a few of the older people in the church - and we still had two refrains to go.
Finally the song ended. Guy friend had tears running down his face and he looked at us, excused himself, and left the sanctuary for the next ten minutes. When he got back, we couldn't look at each other without setting off the chain again. The poor pastor's kids had to write lines for the rest of the service.
I couldn't go back to that church for a while. When I did finally go back a few years later, guess what hymn they sang?
Haven't been back to that church since.
A guy once tried to order Focaccia by asking for "F*** a Choo-Choo."
I had to give someone else the drivethru headset cuz I could not contain myself.
Almost Died In A Fire? Hilarious!
Coworker had a fire that destroyed her house, killed her pets, and almost killed her because her and her husband had one of those deadbolt locks with a lock on both sides instead of a knob inside and they couldn't find the key to get out. So they both had to jump from second floor windows to escape the fire.
So she's explaining all this horrible stuff to me, and then bursts into tears explaining that now they also couldn't have children, because when her husband fell from the second story when he landed, he "squished his nuts!"
I started laughing as she was crying, couldn't help myself.
I'm a horrible person.
Near Death Experience
When I was eight I was in church, and during his sermon the priest farted. I know it's not a great story, and it's probably childish. But to an eight-year-old it was the funniest thing that ever happened to anyone in the entire history of the world.
My mother almost smothered me to death to stifle my laughter.
The "Ah" Sound
Silent reading class in grade 10. The guy next to me sneezed so hard that it caused him to fart. Apparently no one else heard it. I couldn't hold in the laughter. The teacher asked me to leave the class and the second I left that classroom I just bursted out laughing.
What made it funny was that after he farted he made an "ah" Sound. Not in a relieving way, he was more surprised that it happened. It all happened so fast that it took me a second to process what happened. Once i did i could not keep it together.
I took a figure drawing class in college and the male nude model would fall asleep and fart every time. It was always just me and one other person stifling our laughter. HOW DID NOBODY ELSE LAUGH!??
Workplace Injuries Are Funny?
Middle of a meeting with very high level management, way above my pay grade to even breathe the same air as these people, but I had "field-level knowledge and experience that could prove invaluable to the discussion".
Anyway, I'm sitting there in my grease stained, muddy coveralls (I was not given notice beforehand to clean up), in a room full of men in suits and I look around.
I acknowledge that I am the only grunt in the room. I also acknowledge that I am younger than everyone else in the room by at least 15 years. And finally, I acknowledge that of the 40 or so people in the room, I am the only female.
And my head immediately went to "This looks like the start of a weird porno" and I burst out laughing... as the VP of the company was in the middle of talking about injury in the workforce.
Went to see Beauty and The Beast as a ballet. Was going good, enjoying the dancers, when out dances the beast.... a tiny, very stocky guy in full leotard and a furry mask that looked like Chewbacca. I think I could have handled that, if it wasn't for the massive endowment he had somehow stuffed in those leotards.
I tried looking at the floor, but this was troubling to my date... so I pointed my face at the stage and closed my eyes. Unfortunately the first thing that pops into my minds eye is the round face of my redneck buddy, laughing uncontrollably. I started making odd little grunting sounds as my abdomen convulsed. I got up and pantomimed that I really had to pee, and fled. I got 4 seats down, and it just came out... full volume maniacal laughter. I stumbled into the aisle, fell to my knees, and had to practically drag myself out of there by the handrail in the hall way.
There was not a second date.
Boss's Boss Laughed, Too
In a meeting with higher-ups in my organization. An enthusiastic lady goes up to present, she's JAZZED to be telling us of the work she's doing. In the middle she starts using acronyms in our organization: FOCN and SOCN. With her accent, she kept repeating "f***ing and sucking" at least 3 times. I'm giggling so hard a tear dripped from my eye. Finally after the last time, my boss's boss loses it, feigns a coughing fit and leaves the room. Luckily that was a distraction enough to where I could release the laughter. Boss's boss returns about 5 minutes later, red faced, and couldn't look at the lady without giggling.
Big Fat Poop
Yesterday when my three year old dropped his pants, popped a squat, and pooped right in the middle of a well populated playground. I know I was supposed to be mad about it but he was so proud of himself. "Check out my big fat poop." I lost it.
Feeding Me Mints
When I was 18 my great grandmother passed away. I didn't know her or that side of my family very well. I sat through the service quietly and respectfully, though. However, the moment after everyone came to pray over the casket, the gentleman leading the funeral said, "And that concludes today's service." Everyone began crying very loudly in complete unison.
I'm not sure why I found it funny, but I did. I kept turning away from everyone to giggle silently to myself. My father pulled me away from the casket and began giving me these mints. I laughed every time I'd finished one and he would hand me another. I finally asked, "Why do you keep feeding me mints?!" He responded, "To keep you from laughing."
This did not help the situation, because I started laughing louder and in turn made him laugh (I obviously got my sense of humor from him). My crying mother started yelling at us, which got us kicked out of the funeral. As soon as my dad and I got into the car, we started laughing uncontrollably. This event has become a big story between my friends and family, and I'm known as that ahole who laughs during funerals. I've not attended one since.
You Smell Like Poo
I went to church with my brother. He is fairly religious, but he hadn't gone for a long time. We're sitting there and he writes me a note saying something like: "I know that this isn't your thing, but I'm thankful that you came with me. I feel like I needed to get back to coming here."
I proceeded to write him back...
I wrote: "you smell like poo."
I nodded solemnly and passed the note back to him. He read it and gave me a disapproving look... then cracked a smile. I couldn't hold it. I left the building laughing out loud. I had to wait in the car for an hour.
High School Chaos
My french teacher in high school was kind of a nightmare. One time she moved a kid away from a desk by his friend and to a desk right by her for a trivial reason. He got frustrated (she tended to pick on him a lot) and he yelled"Oh, come ON." And her brilliant come back was:
"Don't 'come on' me!!"
Cat Memes And Sick Babies
I was like 17 at a prayer meeting at mu church for a baby who had just been born with a heart defect. I remembered a cat meme I'd seen earlier that day and couldn't hold back the laughter.
My grandparents were talking about diabetes and pop pop kept saying diabeetus. He doesn't have an accent but when he said diabetes, it's like he's from the deep South. It was a depressing conversation but I couldn't stop from laughing. I felt so horrible especially after he succumbed to it a few years later
Considering Dropping The Class
My roommate in college had a bad situation with this. He was sitting in class and he was half paying attention. A kid in his class was doing a presentation and during it he said "And my sister is like, retarded".
Half paying attention, my roommate thought he was making a joke about his sister and calling her stupid. He laughed real hard out loud and was the only one to do it. The kid was telling the class about his mentally handicapped sister and I guess he didn't really know how to word it to the class.
The teacher gave a death stare toward my roommate and he shut his mouth.... but he couldn't stop laughing. He was uncontrollably letting out those sort of spit laughs that are forced through closed lips.
The kid stopped his presentation and forcibly asked my roommate to stop laughing. He was so embarrassed when he came back to the room that he was debating dropping the class and he had like a 4.0 3/4 of the way through.
Racism is an insidious, and unfortunately prevalent, force in all of our daily lives. Maybe we're on the receiving end of it, being treated differently and losing opportunities because of others' preconceived notions.
Or maybe we're on the other side of things. Even those who aren't actively racist or discriminatory still have to process the world through the filters of the things they've been told about people who are different.