Physicians Share Their Best "Is Anyone Here A Doctor?" Stories

Physicians Share Their Best "Is Anyone Here A Doctor?" Stories

Doctors - they're always on call even when they're not on duty. And thank goodness for that, because they're often needed at the most random times, like when someone goes into labor on an airplane or gets heat exhaustion in church. They're unsung heroes outside of the office; nurses and EMTs are too.

Quetzal00 asked, Doctors of Reddit: Have you ever been in a public place and someone shouted "is anyone here a doctor?" (or something along those lines). What happened?

Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.

Hey kids, who wants to cut open dead people?

Last week. Camping with my son. Cub scouts. Miles from anywhere. Scout leader asks..."we need help. Is there anyone here that could be considered a first responder? That has medical training?"

Figured this was an alternative way of saying 'is there a doctor in the house.' Panicked. Because I'm a doc. But.... a pathologist. I do autopsies, look at biopsies. I'm, if you will, a last responder. I put up my hand because I still know more than a layman.

"Oh great, we need someone to talk to the Cubs about a job in the medical field as part of their medical badge. You in?"

So goddamned relieved...

Assistance, Mrs. Doubtfire style.

On a late night flight, around 4am or so. Lights out, dead silent. Out of nowhere a lady starts yelling "he's not breathing! he's not breathing!"

The guy on my window seat comes out of a dead sleep, leaps up and climbs over me before I even knew what was going on and ran back to the man.

A few minutes later I could feel the plane accelerate a little and the captain came on and said that LAX had cleared a path for us to land directly without delay. They guy was ok apparently because he was on my connecting flight to Denver.

TIL to use lukewarm water, not cold water, to alleviate heat stroke.

as out pheasant hunting with some people. Never hunted with them before. A couple of fields in everyone just kind of stops and looks down the line and there were a couple people yelling about a dog. Jogged over there and the owner of the dog was just kind of in shock saying, "Did he really just die?! How am I going to explain this to my daughter???"

I look over his feet and his yellow lab (who was a very good boy) is lying on his side stiff as a board. The owner thought that he was dead and that was the end of it. I realized that the dog was having a severe heat stroke and seizing. (Keep in mind it is somewhere around freezing out in that field and the dogs had been getting water.) I was then told that he had been stumbling around and started shaking before going stiff.

I had never seen a heatstroke this bad in a human and I definitely couldn't just pass the good boy off to higher care. Nearest vet was something like forty minutes away and the owner was not really the "vet" type.

Started treatment. That basically consisted of trying to cool the pupper down using water that was not too cool (if you cool them down too fast they can go into shock) and wrapping him in blankets soaked in this luke warm/luke cold water. It was kind of weird trying to get water through his waterproof coat while not letting the climate cool the water too much, but it worked.

All in all this poor pupper suffered about fifteen seizures in the span of about fifteen minutes. Once I got him stabilized, he started drinking water on his own and ended up recovering as much as you can after an episode like that.

PSA: Your dogs love you and will literally kill themselves if they think that would make you happy. Keep them hydrated and give them breaks! (Watch the movie Megan Leavey!) If your dog does stroke out, cool them down in a controlled manner and get them to a vet. It also wouldn't hurt to learn Canine CPR.

Another day, another "holistic medicine" disaster.

I was on a flight with my grandparents when the flight attendant got on the speakers and asked for any medical professionals to go to the back of the plane. Grandad was a surgeon, so that included him.

There was a lady who was very pale and had passed out on the flight. Turns out that she had a phobia of flying, and took some anti-anxiety medication before the flight. She also took a "calming blend" of tea from some holistic shop, and that had a bad reaction with the meds she took and made her blood pressure plummet, causing her to pass out. They got her stabilized (read: lots and lots of water) and she went to the hospital after the flight.

Don't mix meds and "holistic remedies", guys.

Two for the price of one.

Was at my stepsons baseball game (13 yr old kids). Infielder takes a line drive to the face, and drops to the ground. Our coach yells "Mike! Come quick". Other team's coach yells "Mike, we need you!". Two dads sprint onto the field, one from each dugout entrance. Both arrive to the player at the same tome and look up at each other and realize they both know each other. Both are orthopedic surgeons named Mike.

When you call for a doctor and the whole team comes running. Score!

My toddler had a seizure in an airport and stopped breathing, and I screamed for a doctor. I was answered first by a military EMT, then a doctor, several nurses, and finally a pediatrician. They got her breathing again and saved her life before the paramedics got there. The first doctor wouldn't let anyone near her unless they told him their medical credentials. The pediatrician was wearing the (emptied out, handed off to her husband) carrier for her own baby the entire time. They were all so kind and reassuring to me at my most terrifying moment.

Noted for when I have a seizure in a restaurant.

I was having dinner at a fancy restaurant when a guest at the next table had a seizure and collapsed to the floor. As it happens, I was having dinner with two orthopaedic surgeons, who both got up to help. They were soon relieved by a neurologist and an emergency medicine specialist who took care of the poor guy. He seemed to recover quickly and was probably fine.

LPT: if you're going to have a seizure in a restaurant, try to do it close to a national medical association conference.

This is why doctors and nurses can't treat family or friends - it's too emotional.

My mom was having lunch with her friend when she dropped and had a grand mal seizure. My mom is a nurse, has been a nurse for like 35 years, and is probably a great nurse, and she just screamed for help while it happened. Luckily her friend was fine but my mom, I've learned, is useless in emergency situations that don't involve strangers.

"But I'm on break" isn't something you'll hear from EMTs.

I walked out of my security office and at the top of the parking entrance I saw a 60ish lady on her back while a couple of people stood around looking panicked. I ran up: daughter: "My mom's having a heart attack!" I put the lady in the recovery position and she promptly puked on my shoes. "Ma'am, I'll be back in a second, okay?" I ran down to our Starbucks, where two EMS crews were taking a break, and walked in and quietly said, guys, I've got a lady outside I think is having a heart attack. They looked at me, at each other, and slowly got up, and we went outside; when they saw the lady, they went into over drive, getting equipment from the rescue ambulances and doing their magic. Guys, thanks. Sorry about the coffee break.

'Pardon me, I'm having a heart attack, brb.'

My FIL ( who is a doctor) had a heart attack while eating dinner with a friend who is also a doctor. They both recognized what was happening and rushed him to the car rather than wait on the ambulance. He drove him at high speed to the very close hospital where my FIL flatlined right after arriving. They got him back but if he had waited at the restaurant he would have most likely died due to the amount of time it would have took for the ambulance to get there.

Luck of the draw on this witness.

Witnessed a man hit by a motorcycle. A woman comes rushing out of traffic who was a nurse on her way home from the trauma ER close by. She asked me a complete stranger to go get her car and purse so she wasn't carjacked because she left if running in the middle of the road.

All that was missing was a cape.

I once saw a car accident happen and a woman in scrubs on a scooter pulled a u-turn, dumped the scooter in the ditch, pulled gloves out of her pocket and ran to the cars, all in one smooth motion. I swear to god I could see the cape flapping behind her and hear the swell of epic music.

The show must go on.

I was once one of those patients when this situation happened. Its kind of a dumb situation, but also pretty funny.

I once played Blanche in my university production of Streetcar Named Desire. I had had this pain throughout the day of a performance, but decided not to go to a doctor. Well about 30 minutes before the production I went to the bathroom and... peed blood. It was like it hit me at once, and I was so uncomfortable and had to pee every few minutes. I remember the weird sensation feeling so awful and constantly needing to pee. I told my director. Our entire production was student run, so we didn't exactly have an adult say, "hey! you should go to the doctor."

Instead, One of the other drama kids go on the mic and ask the audience if we had a doctor in the audience. When no one responded, one of our lighting techs came up to the booth and told us he was an EMT.

He took my blood pressure which was fine but he said we should call it off and send me to the doctor.

I was not about to have the entire show stopped for me. I told him I was feeling better and that maybe I just started my period and I didn't realize. I told them all it was just jitters.

We did the show and it turned out to be a pretty gnarly kidney infection.

Edit: I would also like to add, It was some of my best work too. Real easy to act like you are getting dragged off stage, and slowly going mad when it feels like there is a knife in you and you may pee your dress.

That's teamwork.

Not a doctor, but I broke my right radius playing soccer when I was 12. When I was down, a man who I'd never seen before had followed my mom after she came over. Turns out the dude was a doctor and his kid was on the opposing team. I didn't learn this til after the fact cause I was in hella pain, but the dude identified himself as a doctor to my mom and informed her that I had broken a bone and he told her it needed to be set. Fate be damned, this man set my arm on the side of the pitch in between a notebook splint tied together with socks. This happened out of town so I get to the ER the next day and after the xrays came back, they informed my mom that my arm had been set perfectly and if we hadn't told them my arm was broken they would've had a hard time knowing at all

Tldr-random man sets my broken wrist perfectly on the side of a soccer pitch.

Where were you born? 35,000 feet.

My aunt was in that situation. Someone on her long-distance flight was about to give birth, and she got to move up to first class to deliver the baby.

Gotta look tight for your wedding, no matter the cost.

Very first time, it was at my cousin's wedding.. the patient was his bride. So that was an interesting way to meet the new member of the family! Turns out she was just dehydrated/hypoglycemic from not eating all day.

Doc pulls double duty on flight and at restaurant.

Airplane to Vegas.

Woman had a blood sugar issue according to the flight attendant afterward. I just told her I was very happy to see their professionalism at work in a crisis.

The doc and crew got the woman stable and we were given priority to Vegas, the pilot basically floored it.

Which got us into Las Vegas way early, early enough to get into Hash House a Go-Go with a reservation.

A bit after we ordered 2 ladies are standing there screaming. Great, happy mothers day....

Except they were shaking a small kid upside down. I got up and moved closer

Little girl was turning colors she shouldn't and not doing well, so I reached in and took her away, felt for sternum and pulled, no luck, so I lifted HARD and she was soon screaming for Momma.

So, the need for a doctor on a flight saved a little girl several hours later.

Mothers Day 2012.

And, free breakfast.

Little girl last seen eating a giant strawberry when I stopped by to thank her parents for paying our bill. She was NOT a fan of mine and I am OK with that.

Good one.

This isn't the same thing, but several years ago I was at a Med school graduation and the woman announcing the names fainted. When it was clear she was fine, one of the other faculty members asked on the microphone, "Is there a doctor in the house?" and got some big laughs.

There's nothing Costco doesn't offer.

One time I was at Costco with my aunt, who is an RN, and she helped deliver a baby in the bathroom. It was wild.

Seriously, why are paper fans still necessary in church?

My Father in Law is a doctor. On two occasions in church I have seen him help a little old lady who collapsed from heat stroke. He says it's happened five times.

All were fine, the pastor literally didn't even stop his homily as the woman was carried out to the hallway for my FIL to look at her.

My take away is that the church needs to install an AC.

Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like


My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308


My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango


I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina


With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3



I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold


Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.

I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-


Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.

An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451


Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence


How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster


My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"



It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?


I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)

The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.


Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.

I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.


Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.


Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.



Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.




3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.


Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.


Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.


Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.



My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.



How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).

How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.


Dogs and Chocolate


I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.


Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.


Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.


Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.


Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.


Stars In Their Multitude


I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.



My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.


Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.


Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...


Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.