Graveyard Shift Employees Reveal The Spookiest Experiences They've Had
While most people are sleeping, some work the graveyard shift. Sure, it pays better, but you also have to deal with things that go bump in the night... or that scream... or want to eat you...
Awsaf_ asked night guards of Reddit: What's the scariest experience you can share with us?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
They can smell fear.
I used to work security for a ski resort, I was swing shift, 4 to midnight.
After every shift I had about a 20 minute walk down a dark mountain road through the woods to reach my bus stop, also there were no streetlights. There's dark and then there's in-the-woods-in-the-shadow-of-a-mountain dark.
After a week or so I started getting stalked by a pack of coyotes.
One coyote isn't terribly impressive, like an ugly medium sized dog, two coyotes aren't super intimidating either, but three or more is a different story, once it's a proper pack they get bold.
The first couple nights it was just one or two, I could see their eye shine about 40 or 50 yards in the woods, they'd check me out then run off. After a week or two more started showing up, 4 or 5 at a time but once I counted 8.
The thing is, once there were 3 or more they didn't run off, they'd follow me from the treeline, every once and a while crossing the street in front of or behind me, they also stopped keeping their distance, they'd come as close as 20 feet or less.
Seeing 8 pairs of glowing eyes is creepy but the noises they make, holy f*ck.
So yeah, I carried bear mace at the ready during my walks to the bus stop for the whole season.
King of the urinals.
Not a night guard, but I was a janitor for a little bit a while ago in a building that was only accessible by a key fob. You'd need one to get into the front door, and you'd have to use it again to enter the offices.
The shift was from 4pm to midnight, and if I finished early, I got to leave while still being paid until midnight.
Each night I'd hang out with my co-workers in the office until 5 P.M., then we'd all head out to our buildings. I'd empty all the trash bins first, vacuum and mop where needed, take care of any scheduled cleanings like steam cleaning the curtains, and I'd hit the bathrooms last since everyone would normally be out of the office at that time.
Most nights I was finished between 8 P.M. and 9 P.M.
There was a night when I was finishing up, and all I had to do was clean the bathrooms. I did the woman's room without any issues, and then I headed into the men's room. When I went in, the lights turned on because of that sensor, and there was some man I had never seen before just standing in the middle of the bathroom.
I have no idea who he was, or how long he was in there, but he had to have stood still long enough for the lights to go off, and then remain motionless so they wouldn't turn back on.
When I saw him, I just turned around and left for the night.
Lmfao I laughed so hard when I read the last part. Just a "lol nah that ain't my job" moment.
They're just doggos.
I worked at an airport and while I was not a guard, I was the only one working graveyard shift at my job.
One night I was sitting at the front desk playing a game on my phone and the sliding doors to the lobby opened. I looked up didn't see anyone, thought it was weird and went back to my phone. A few seconds later I heard a clacking noise on the tile floor in front of the desk. I very slowly stood up and then froze.
Two of the biggest rottweilers I had ever seen were standing in front of the desk staring at me. If they decided to attack me there was no way I could fight off both of them and being alone until the next shift meant they would probably kill me.
After what felt like an hour of watching them their body language didn't seem aggressive so I came around the desk and it turned out they were actually both super chill dogs named Sophie and Mac. They also knew how to sit, give their paw and lay down on command.
They belonged to a boat shop about a mile away and it turns out airport security were very familiar with them as they had a habit of escaping the boat shop and wandering the airport.
They ended up hanging out with me for the rest of my shift until security picked them up and gave them a lift back home.
Not so silent.
I do rounds in a factory. During shutdown with maybe ten lights on in a giant plant for holidays, one of the freaking monstrous machines lets out a blowhorn sound that mirrored the raid sirens in silent hill.
I cannot begin to tell you the dread that inspired.
I would have ran for my life.
Dude. When I was 17, I went urbexing in this cavernous vacant PCB factory. Sprawling factory floor, all the equipment gone, just a few token lights on to sort of illuminate the place.
I was walking right in the middle of that massive empty space when that exact sound happened, ear-splittingly loud, with no warning whatsoever.
Man, I f*cking sh*t. I leapt halfway out of my skin, snapped back into it, and bolted out of there faster than I'd ever run in my life. Across the factory floor, out the unlocked door, to the edge of the property, threw myself into the gravel to speed-crawl under a gate, and ran another four blocks to my car so I could burn rubber all the way home. Literally expected paint to start peeling off the walls.
Copper is super valuable on the black market.
Security at a remote site at about 330 A.M.
Doing my rounds, admittedly sleep deprived, and heard a very clear "f**k" whispered from just outside the fence. Some rustling ensued and my heart started to race. Called for back up but no answer. I go to investigate on my own and find nothing.
Ff to 415 A.M.
"Just go to sleep already" from the same spot. Call for backup, no answer, investigate, nothing.
Now pissed, I go to the security office to ask where the f*ck everyone is because I'm hearing people talk in the bushes. Turns out both of my partners left. Called the operations center, nothing. I was straight up about to leave when a truck rolled up to the security gate. I'm in the office so I see it on the camera and I flip on the microphone and say "please present your ID to the camera, we'll have someone let you in shortly." NO ANSWER. Go to investigate, drunk guy took a wrong turn and thought he was at home so he fell asleep in his truck, at our gate. Call the cops cause he clearly shouldn't be driving, not that it's really my issue. Then call operations again, this time they pick up and inform me everyone is sick and that I should go home as it's against policy to work at this site on your own. Still no clue what those voices were but man that was a stressful night. Lots of break ins from copper thieves, quite often armed tho.
If you have copper thieves breaking in frequently, I'm going to hazard a guess that your job site is an abandoned building, likely a fairly large complex.
If that's the case, the mysterious voices could have been urban explorers trying to photograph the building. As an urban explorer, I can attest that sometimes there are locations out there that are only accessible by sneaking past security guards in the dead of night- and locations that require doing so are often cool enough that the risk of getting caught is worth it.
"Fu*k" and "just go to sleep already" coming from just beyond the fence line sounds like a couple of frustrated urban explorers waiting for you to move on so they can sneak past you into the complex itself. Hearing the voices 45 minutes apart is a reasonable timeframe for this explanation- I've definitely seen locations where you have to wait over an hour in a single hiding place for an opening where you can sneak past, especially if you aren't exactly sure of the security layout (guards, cameras, alarms, motion detectors, etc).
We're a pretty harmless bunch, far more afraid of you than you are of us. If an urban explorer does things right, they'll sneak in, photograph the complex, and sneak out with the guards being none the wiser.
Now this is scary.
I'm a night guard, but the story is from a colleague of mine.
So my colleague was guarding this quite big complex in which the security system was not working. So they had two guards stationed at two different locations in this building. My colleague gets a call on the radio from the other night guard that he'a hearing someone trying to break in. So my colleague rushes over there as fast as he can.
Now this building was quite the maze and required a number of keys in order to get from where he was to where the other guard was. And he finds out that he's been given wrong sets of keys. So for him to get to where the break in is happening he now has to go around the outside of the building. This took some extra time and when he arrived he found the other guard knocked down in a pool of blood.
He had tried to stop the three guys doing the break in by himself and got rewarded with a hard pipe bashed to his head. My colleague pressed his SRT, the panic alarm. And tried to tend to his friends wound. It took about 5 minutes for the police and EMT to get there but he said it felt like it took hours. Since he was pretty sure his colleague was going to die.
He ended up in a coma for 5 days and also lost some of his eyesight in his left eye. But other than that me recovered quite well.
No one got caught since the attackers just hit him blind sided and decided to get the hell out of there once they clocked him.
My colleague still work as a night guard but the other guy that got a pipe to his head had a few months to recover and now works as an EMT instead.
It's the ones with the real people that are the scary ones. Glad both of them are okay.
I agree. Seeing how animalistic people can really be will always be more terrifying to me than anything paranormal.
Sometimes a cat is just a cat.
In the winter we get homeless people sleeping in our stairwells so I have to kick them out.
One time I went down and something leaped at me. I went "phew just a cat." Then I remembered the horror movie trope and realized the real scare is coming up next so I skipped checking the stairwells that night.
Not a night guard but when I worked at Sam's Club, I took a couple of night shifts to get my department ready for a big sale event. I would get there at about 2 A.M. and be done at 10 A.M.
Our store is located on a hillside kind of back towards the woods a little bit. To get in after hours, we had to go around to the back of the store and go through the receiving entrance. It was always dark and creepy but I never felt like scared or anything.
Until my last night shift. I got the unsettling feeling of being watched. Like hairs on the back of your neck standing up, heart beating out of your chest unsettling.
I booked it into the store and slammed the door shut behind me. One of the night crew asked what was wrong and I told him. He laughed and told me welcome to the night shift.
About ten minutes later, one of the night crew went out that same door for a cigarette and a bear climbed out of the dumpster beside the door.
You've left that on a bit of a cliffhanger there...
The story probably ends there. Not every tale has a movie-like climax to finish on. Sometimes, I like those stories the best, because that's how life usually works.
Phantom screams at night in a hospital? Nope.
While I was on a night shift as a nurse with one of my colleagues, we would sit in little room that was wall to wall with the elevators. The one right next to us was only for employees and was barely used at night. We were minding our own business when we heard the most ear-piercing and terrifying "scream" coming from the elevator. We sat there looking at each other, unwilling to actually check it out, but when we rushed out shortly after the elevator wasn't in use. Needless to say we were on the edge for the entire rest of the shift. We never found out what caused it, and it never happened again.
Maybe someone had a bad reaction to a spider on them or something.
I'm more convinced it may have had something to do with the reinforced cables expanding/retracting in the cold weather. The whole thing didn't exactly sound human.
During my time as a Sheriff's Deputy, I worked as a night guard for a local branch of a massive investment firm for extra cash, and worked the 4pm-12am shift on weekends. There was only two guards on shift at any time, and because it was a financial building, they allowed those of us certified to be armed if we had the certificates.
The facility was three buildings across a 4 acre property, was gated, and was on the tail end of an industrial park, on the border of a really rough neighborhood, where break ins and shootings were not uncommon.
One night I was on guard during December, a lot of the desks were covered in Christmas decorations and wrapping paper, and a lot of the employees would leave little treats and bowls of candy out for us to thank us for being there for them. We all really appreciated it and it helped take our minds off of the long hours while we were there alone, and it reminded us of why we did it.
That particular night the other guard I was with was a fellow soldier with me in the National Guard, so we both knew we were trained and had each other's backs, which had me pretty at ease as I walked down the long dark empty hallways with my flashlight. Suddenly my radio lit up, and my buddy tells me the cameras in one of the cubicle areas was feeding black, and he thinks the lights went out, and my job was to walk over there and reset the breaker and get the lights back on.
I turned around and began to walk down the hallway, it was absolutely pitch black, no service lights, no door lights, no faint glow of computers left on, nothing. The air felt cold, my flashlight felt darker than normal, something wasn't right.
My heartbeat began to speed up as I remembered that the breaker room was all the way in the back, near the server, and I had to walk down nearly 40 rows of cubicles to get there. I listened carefully in case it was someone versus something that caused it, and I kept hearing this odd clicking sound as I began to slowly walk through the cubicle row.
Suddenly, I saw a silhouette "crouched" down between two cubicles in the back, I knelt down and drew my gun, thinking I caught someone in the building, I pinged the radio twice to signal my buddy to get 9-1-1 on standby, and began to slowly walk towards it, issuing verbal commands.
"Stand up, face me, NOW!" I yelled at the silhouette, wondering why it wasn't moving. As my flashlight hit it, it was a godd*mned clown statue holding a Charlie Brown Christmas tree.
I laughed and holstered my gun, my hands were shaking, I was sweaty, I genuinely was happy I didn't have to use force or possibly take a life that night. I felt so relieved. I walked up to, planning to move it back inside of a cubicle to get it out of our way.
Suddenly the little f*cker lit up "BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" it laughed, loudly and sharply.
I took off running like. The thing absolutely caught me off guard and scared the living sh*t out of me. I've caught bums in our dumpster, crack heads on our roof, we even had a multiple shooting in the apartments nearby. Nothing scared me as much as that f*cking clown laughing at me. Eyes and nose glowing red. I ran all the way back to the front desk and made my buddy get the lights in there.
I'm not even scared of clowns normally, but that one in particular would continue to creep me out for the rest of the time I worked there.
Sad thing is, nothing I encountered in my time in the Military or Law Enforcement ever scared me as much as that clown.
There's just not enough good "Clown Training" nowadays.
F*ck that clown.
Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?
You're not the only one.
u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.
I Know What I LikeGiphy
My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.
The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.
A Stair Step
My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.
My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.
My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.
We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.
I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.
My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.
With an ex:
"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."
She did not understand this.
I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.
"Now how much do you have in your hand?"
She still didn't understand.
She somehow has a college degree.
When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.
I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.
My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.
His answer was that I was being unfair.
How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."
To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.
A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.
A Non-Standard Ruler?
I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.
Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.
7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.
Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.
Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.
This Unusual Vegan Argument
Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.
He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.
That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."
Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.
Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.
In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.
It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.
Albert or ArnoldGiphy
Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?
Below Sea Level
I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.
I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.
This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.
Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.
Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.
An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.
I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.
Whales Are Mammals
I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.
Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.
My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.
No Balloons For Grandma
My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.
He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.
He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.
Spontaneous Dolphin ExistenceGiphy
How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.
Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.
I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.
Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.
But ... Ice Floats
Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.
Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.
Time Zones Exist
Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.
My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.
"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"
"no, it's red"
"YOU CANT EVEN KNOW"
It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.
I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)
The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.
The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.
It was stupid.
Stars Like Our Sun
I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.
I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.
I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.
Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.
Balloon to Heaven
My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.
And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.
I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.
He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.
It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.
Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".
My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.
3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.
I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.
Late to the party, but there it is.
I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.
Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.
Wicked Witch of the West
I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.
I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.
Keep Your Hands to Yourself
Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.
They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.
So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.
My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.
I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.
We didn't speak to each other for four days.
How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).
How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.
Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.
Dogs and ChocolateGiphy
I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.
I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.
Is water wet?
My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.
For the record, it is no to both questions.
A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.
He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.
One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.
It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.
Green Or Yellow?
When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.
Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.
Stars In Their MultitudeGiphy
I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".
I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.
My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.
"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".
It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.
About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.
She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.
We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.
I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"
I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.
I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...
Solid Or Liquid?
Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.
For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.