We've all heard the phrase "there are no stupid questions" but ... um ... most of us would beg to differ.
You know you've heard some really really disturbingly dumb questions in your life - and we'll give you a chance to sound off on those in a minute, but first...
Reddit user clock_working asked:
Truly this is a magical parade of questions that just leave you staring, slack-jawed and slow blinking. Take some deep breaths before you go in, guys. It's bad.
A Mothers Concern
I overheard a pregnant woman on the phone say:
"I think my boyfriend is cheating on me. What happens if this baby isn't mine?"
I looked around to see if anyone else heard what she said. I wanted someone to share that moment with. Nobody else did.
Washing The Sheets
Me and my girlfriend were getting into bed for the night. She goes to sleep at like 10pm for work and I stay up all night watching TV shows, but I like to keep her company until she falls asleep. She was mad at me for not washing the bed sheets like I said i would that day. We had other sheets, but she really liked these and I did say I would wash them.
So I'm lying there feeling guilty an idea pops into my head. I excitedly ask "Want me to just clean the bed sheets and stuff while you are asleep?"
In the most monotone and unamused voice she replies "How? I'm in the bed."
I haven't felt that stupid in a while.
"How do you know if your baby is circumcised? Can they see it on the ultrasound or do you have to wait until he is born to know?"
We were 19.
My ex husband (who was 28 at the time) did not know he was circumcised. We were discussing if we were going to get our son circumcised and I said that I didn't feel it was necessary. He agreed, adding that circumcised penises looked weird and gross. I stared at him for a moment and said:
"Yoooou do realize that you are circumcised, right?"
Spoiler Alert: He didn't. Sex Ed is important people.
My ex boyfriend insisted he couldn't possibly be circumcised because he wasn't Jewish.
Land On A Cloud
Former co-worker who was going on holiday: "So what would happen if my plane breaks down while it's flying? Can we just land on a cloud and wait for the recovery?"
No, you'll likely plummet to your death.
"What animal does Chicken come from?"
I'm Canadian. Was living in the US for a couple of years. People were fascinated by it. Just a few of the abysmally stupid questions I was asked:
Asked what country I was from, I replied "Canada". They asked what street that was on.
Asked by my kid's teacher if women had the right to vote in Canada.
Asked many, many times what it was like to live in an igloo. Always replied that I had no idea, I'd never even been in one. Was then asked many times what I lived in. Told them we had houses, just like theirs. They were shocked.
Asked what we did with our sled dogs when we moved. Replied we never had sled dogs. Was asked how we got around. Replied that we drove. "They have ROADS in Canada?!"
My kids' principal was concerned about their education level when we registered them in school. Had they had any "real" education? Would it take long for them to learn English? Had to explain that my kids were native English speakers and that Canada has a better education system than the US.
How did we move here? Drove. "But that's not possible! There's no other countries, it's north AMERICA." Then showed me a map of the US and Alaska to prove their point; they believed Alaska just floated out there in the ocean like an island.
I could go on. It was surreal.
What's On The Other Side?
Looking at a world map:
"If all the continents are facing this way, what's on the other side?"
She knew the earth was round, she just thought all the continents are all smooshed up on one side.
How Mermaids Are MadeGiphy
I was not asked this, but my biology teacher was. This girl asked:
"If a man, like, sperms into the ocean and a fish eats it, is that how mermaids are made?"
She was completely serious. My biology teacher was just baffled and didn't know what to say.
How Returns Work
Working retail way back in the day.
Her: So if I don't like this, can I return it?
Me: Sure, within 30 days.
Her: So if I do I get my money back?
Her: But I get to keep the item too, right?
Me (Internal face palm): No you have to give it back.
Her: But why?
This took about another 5 minutes of explaining how economics in general work. She really didn't understand that returning an item involved returning the item.
Carbs Are Great ... But Not This Great
Potato farmers, apparently...Giphy
A girl in my class asked how potatoes could be so cheap when you had to put a piece of coal under a mountain for thousands of years?
She thought potatoes were diamonds in progress.
You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, or so the saying goes.
The same can be said for your interactions with cops, most of whom are perfectly happy to let minor infractions slide––When was the last time you were actually ticketed for jaywalking?––provided you're not a total Karen should you interact them.
Your local police officer likely doesn't care about jaywalking or the fact that you went five miles over the speed limit unless you give him a reason to, as we learned when Redditor Takdel asked police officers: "What stupid law have you enforced just because someone was an a-hole?"