Surprised Doctors Share The Successful Times A Patient Diagnosed Themselves Online

Surprised Doctors Share The Successful Times A Patient Diagnosed Themselves Online

It's usually not a good idea to self-diagnose, especially via the Internet, but occasionally people get it right. And although doctors never encourage this, successful patients do impress them from time to time. Also, WebMD is terrifying.

Impulse_you_html asked, Doctors of Reddit, what's the weirdest case of someone self-diagnosing, and it being correct?

Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.

I knew I had ulcerative colitis when I first saw a gastroenterologist, but they didn't believe me.

I worked with an interventional radiologist/venous disease specialist and we had a self-referred patient who came to see us. She started off with "well, I've done lots of research on the internet" which is ALMOST ALWAYS A BAD START. However, this lady was a competitive cyclist and complained of unilateral leg weakness during her rides. She was otherwise very healthy. She had cycled miles and miles every day for many years. Suddenly she could barely finish a 5-mile ride. She had found online the diagnosis of external iliac artery endofibrosis which is very very rare, but more common in lifelong cyclists because they are bending over at such an angle for such long periods of times they are compressing their external iliac artery causing scar tissue to build up and limit blood flow. She asked my doctor to order her a CT scan because her other doctors would not (she was basically just complaining of being tired). But since we worked next door to a CT scanner we said SURE! Turns out she was right! She was then referred on to a vascular surgeon and I assume made a wonderful recovery. One of our shorter consults actually since it was so easy to rule in/out and she presented well researched, compelling evidence.

It's a good thing his wife was around, but chronic diarrhea is never normal, folks.

My attending had a patient with diarrhea and although he looked and insisted that he felt fine, his wife was insisting something was very wrong and she pleaded with us to do some blood work. So we did, not thinking we were going to find anything. Turns out the guy was in SEVERE kidney failure due to his dehydration from diarrhea (youngish healthy guy by the way). We would have never run that test and sent the guy to the ER if his wife didn't suspect that something terrible was wrong.

Trust your gut. Literally.

Not sure if this counts... when I was 25-28, my family and I were planning on going on a snow vacation in then still Czechoslovakia (before it split up) and woke up with a "weird" feeling in my stomach, no pain, just something being off. Went to my doctor, he felt around a bit, found nothing, and wanted to send me home. I refused and got a referral to the hospital (this was still all only because of my gut feeling) had bloodwork done, had an echo. All tests came back negative, the surgeon eventually came by, and we had a chat. Based on my words alone (not the results) he scheduled me for a laparoscopy to remove my appendix, stating "it will have to come out at one point, might as well do it early"

I went under, and woke up with a 15cm new scar on my belly, turns out my appendix was heavily inflamed and about to burst when they went in. Because I had no pain from it, I would likely only have found out my appendix burst on top of a snowy mountain, nowhere near any doctors, when my stomach would have gone septic, so good chance of dying.

The surgeon couldn't stop talking about how I probably saved my own life by being so adamant something was wrong.

Sesamoid bones, what an obscure diagnosis.

Medical student here, I was the patient and I diagnosed myself.

I had this gnawing, dull pain on the ball of my foot for almost 6 months but during my surgery rotation, it got progressively worse since I was standing for most of the day. I couldn't even walk barefoot anymore (had to wear padded flip-flops at home or custom orthotics insoles outside). My foot would hurt at the end of my runs (surprisingly, not during my runs), when stretching my foot, and when pushing on the ball of my foot.

I told my primary doctor that I thought I had a sesamoid fracture because of my symptoms, risk factors, and duration of the pain. She didn't think so and told me to do RICE (rest, ice, compression, elevate) even though this had been going on for months. I said okay but also asked for a sports medicine referral just in case I couldn't find time to come back to follow up with her if RICE didn't work.

The sports med Dr. took x-rays of both feet, saw that one of the sesamoid bones had completely fractured into two, now VERY separate pieces. In a walking boot now and they're thinking of surgery if the pain doesn't get better!

I've had this. It's HORRIBLE.

Not a doctor, but a friend showed up to my dorm room and asked to borrow some anti-itch cream for what he said was a spider bite.

I told him that it was definitely not a spider bite and he should go to the doctor. He laughed and refused. I told him it might be MRSA and he should get it checked out. he kind of rolled his eyes but agreed to let someone look at it.

It was MRSA.

Sometimes doctors just like being first to the diagnosis. But at least this person showed up!

I told my doctor that I thought that I had a sinus infection. He commented that he didn't approve of people diagnosing themselves and asked me why I thought this.

My answer was "I can feel my teeth when I walk." He then laughed, confirmed the diagnosis through the exam, and prescribed antibiotics.

This is a pretty impressive success story.

Medical student, here.

Had a patient in her 20's who felt a lump in her breast that she was concerned about. She had googled it and figured it was a benign fibroadenoma since it grew cyclically with her menstrual cycle but still wanted to check it out just to be safe.

She turned out to be right but she was wise to get it checked out, just in case she wasn't.

Another amazing catch by someone who really knows their body.

Finally something I can answer! I had, for my entire life since adolescence, a lymph node at the top of my tailbone area that would sometimes become swollen and painful and would have trouble sitting down. It would persist for a two to three days and then go back to normal.

I looked it up when I was a freshman in college and came across the term Pilonidal Dimple, which is a genetic abnormality present at birth, that along with my symptoms of being prone to infection, causes extra hair to grow out of it, which was also a problem I had. I was absolutely convinced.

I talked to my Mom, a nurse, about it, and then my GP who I had been with my entire life, and they didn't think that's what it was, mainly because it's a condition diagnosed at birth.

Fast forward to my sophomore year, the lymph node became swollen and the most painful it had ever been. I couldn't sleep. I went to the ER, because it was 4 in the morning, and told them I think this is the condition I have and the pain it's currently causing.

They take me back, the doctor comes in, confirms it, drains the infection, excises the node.

6 years later, have never had another problem with the lymph node pain. But I do still have a problem with hair growing out of it.

This is similar to when I got drug-resistant E. coli after colon surgery, and the ER initially said it was no big deal. Right.

Recently had surgery. Went for a follow up a week later and the doc says everything is fine. Wife says "that looks infected". Doc blows her off and says it's supposed to look like that. 2 days later I'm lying in a hospital bed with doctors debating to amputate my finger and possibly my hand. My finger was severely infected. 7 days in the hospital, lots of antibiotics later was released.

This surgeon should have known better.

Had arthroscopic knee surgery on a Wednesday morning. Felt great Thursday. Woke up Friday and had a little tightness in my chest but attributed it to having been intubated. Woke up Saturday and felt like an elephant was sitting on my chest. Walking 30 feet to my bathroom winded me as if I'd run a mile.

I called the on-call surgeon and explained my symptoms. He brushed me off and said I shouldn't worry given my age and overall health (I was about 37 or 38). I hung up and immediately called my mom to come drive me to the hospital. I knew something was seriously wrong.

They immediately did blood work and a chest CT. Within 20 minutes of getting to the ER they diagnosed me with multiple bilateral pulmonary embolisms. Blood clots in both lungs. I could have died at a moments notice.

Wound up in the hospital for a week on a heparin drip and on Coumadin for 6 months after.

It's worth repeating: trust your gut. It's literally your second brain.

A month ago I was being treated for pneumonia for pain under my ribcage with coughing. After that didn't work they were just going to write it off as muscle pain until I suggested it was my gallbladder. There were no stones in the ultrasound but I fought for a function test and it was only functioning at %14. Got it removed 3 days later.

Gut symptoms, however, are often misleading. And they can have some strange manifestations.

This boggles my mind. My husband had severe chest pain, so bad he thought he was dying, made him vomit, and the only thing that helped was lidocaine in the emergency room. The surgeon who did his scope found he has a large haiatal hernia, and referred him to a gastroenterologist for surgery to "correct" it. When they do surgery for a haiatal hernia, you can't ever burp or vomit again. The gastro surgeon talked with my husband for a little bit, asked him about his symptoms, and told him he thought it was his gallbladder. One ultrasound later, super swollen gallbladder packed with stones. They scheduled his surgery and took that bad boy out. The doc said the stomach area is stupid for nerves, meaning that's why a doctor can't tell what's wrong with where it hurts, there have to be other symptoms or clues. His gall bladder never hurt him, but it caused excruciating pain in his sternum. The doc said he had a female patient whose gallbladder pain manifested on the other side under her ribs, opposite the side the gallbladder is on. Why don't they teach this to general doctors!

Thinking you have glass in your hand after an accident isn't crazy...

I had a patient come into one of my urgent care offices with a lump in her hand. She was in a car accident 7 years ago and said she has glass in her hand that was never removed and that she has lived with it for 7 years. She says she has seen multiple physicians including a dermatologist and they all told her that she was crazy.

I admit I thought she was crazy as well, but I had a student with me and I figure, "Oh well, let's open this lump up and see what we find." Normally I would not do this, but this patient was essentially begging me with tears in her eyes since no one believed her. At worst I figured I'd remove a cyst or lipoma. Sure enough, I make a small incision and squeeze and out pops a 3mm piece of glass. She just stared and me and I stared at her. Closed her up. She wrote a super kind review on our website. We normally get s*** reviews because we don't just hand out antibiotics for every cold that comes through the door.

How many times does pregnancy need to be eliminated as an option, honestly?

Not a doctor but I work in pathology. I started to have pain in my back and I got to the point I couldn't stand straight. One day at work and I was on the floor from the pain. Went to the ER and told them I think it's my gallbladder. They told me nope, pulled muscle. Sent me away. This kept happening and I started a diary on what I was doing prior to each episode. Classic gallbladder stone symptoms. Back pain that radiates up, happens after eating fatty food including meat, etc. I went to the ER and my personal doctor 6 times and each time, I was told I was pregnant even though the test was negative each time. I kept insisting it was my gallbladder. Finally, I was so sick and crying at work after being discharged from the ER again, telling me that I'm pregnant and to get over it. When my pathologist who specializes in gastric pathology saw me, he took me back to the ER and made them give me a CT scan. Bingo, the gallbladder was blocked. A month later, has surgery and had a lot of little gallstones. I still have my gallbladder in a jar on my desk as revenge.

When in doubt, see a specialist. Or demand one in the ER, it works. Autoimmune diseases are nasty things.

I told my internal medicine doctor for years I had Hashimoto's. I had all the symptoms, including the weird ones like hiccups, but nothing registered on blood tests. She basically called me an idiot and diagnosed me as bipolar. This went on for 10 years and bipolar medicine made me suicidal.

Finally got old enough to realize I could tell her to f off and find an endocrinologist. He took an ultrasound of my thyroid and it was almost completely dead. I had to get a biopsy to make sure I didn't have cancer. Years later and I'm still dealing with it since there really isn't a way to treat all the symptoms. Medicine helps, though. Bipolar medicine is out of my system, and that's probably the greatest win. My mental health vastly improved!

Last year my mother ran into my internal medicine doctor and she apologized to my mother. Turns out she didn't believe Hashimoto's was a real autoimmune disease...until she also was diagnosed with it.

Mercury poisoning from canned tuna is a real thing... what an astute catch.

Not a doctor but I work at a vet office. I can't remember the exact symptoms but an older lady had an older cat who was ADR (ain't doin right) and she was concerned it could possibly have Mercury poisoning. Major eyerolls by the docs and staff but we took blood and sent it off. She had been feeding this cat a can of tuna a day for the past ~15 years. We get the results and ding ding ding, slight mercury poisoning. I don't even remember the treatment but we were all stunned! One of the most memorable times Dr. Google was right.

Weird is an understatement. Whoa.

I come late to the party, but this has got to be one of the weirdest cases of self-diagnosis.

Long story short, in 1984 a previously healthy woman heard voices inside her head saying:

"Please don't be afraid. I know it must be shocking for you to hear me speaking to you like this, but this is the easiest way I could think of. My friend and I used to work at the Children's Hospital, Great Ormond Street, and we would like to help you."

She first went to a psychiatrist, but the voices only stopped for a while. Sometime later, the voices told her to have a brain scan, because she had a tumor in her brain. The woman once again had an appointment with the psychiatrist, and the psychiatrist (in order to reassure her) managed to request a brain scan. The brain scan revealed a meningioma. After consulting with the voices, the woman agreed to undergo surgery to remove the mass.

As soon as the woman regained consciousness after the surgery, the voices told her:

"We are pleased to have helped you. Goodbye."

That was the last time the woman heard the voices.

I knew I wasn't alone! Same!

I correctly self-diagnosed myself with ulcerative colitis when my doctor said it was IBS. Glad to see I am fit to be a pharmacist because that's what I'm studying.

When all else fails, do it yourself.

Not a doctor, but it took me four years to get a sleep disorder diagnosed (Delayed Sleep Phase Disorder).

Started being unable to sleep early and wake on time. Went through a million insomnia diagnoses and every management therapy possible. No improvement. I ask doctors if it could be a sleep disorder. Not possible - "too rare, don't exist, your fault", and so on.

Start checking out different sleep disorders. Based on my management therapies and symptoms list, I start ruling them out one by one. Researching your own murky disorder = stupid idea, I knew. But hey, if not a single doctor has been willing to take your case further, what are you to do?

After all, if you've had DSPD, you'd know that severe untreated DSPD can make it hard or impossible to study, work or have a social life at all. Life is kinda at stake here.

I come to the conclusion that it might be DSPD. Not trying to push anything. I've got a symptom history and a detailed sleep diary of over 24 months by this point.

Doctor 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5 in the UK = "You don't know what you're talking about. Go to bed on time."

Doctor 6 begrudgingly allowed me to see a sleep specialist in Oxford.

The sleep specialist takes one look at my sleep history, symptom history, and survey results. Curses the 5 previous doctors for being proud idiots and not allowing me to make an appointment with her earlier. Diagnoses me with DSPD within a single month of testing.

Feeling a blood clot in the brain is bizarre, but it saved this guy's life.

I used to work in a university ER as a medical scribe. One of my physicians would talk about this patient that came in with a headache and stated that felt like he had a clot "right here" and pointed to the side of his head. When the doctor asked why he felt that way, the patient said, "I dunno man, that's just the way I feel." He eventually ordered a rule out head CT for the pt's symptoms, and lo and behold, that mother trucker had a small clot in that region of his brain. He said it was one of the most bizarre things he'd ever seen, and it was a level 1 trauma center too.

Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like


My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308


My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango


I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina


With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3



I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold


Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.

I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-


Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.

An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451


Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence


How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster


My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"



It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?


I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)

The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.


Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.

I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.


Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.


Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.



Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.




3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.


Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.


Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.


Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.



My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.



How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).

How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.


Dogs and Chocolate


I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.


Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.


Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.


Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.


Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.


Stars In Their Multitude


I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.



My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.


Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.


Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...


Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.