These Stories Reveal What It's Like For Children With Polyamorous Parents

Traditionally, most North American families comprise of two adult partners who would share parental duties if they chose to have children. However, nowadays, we know that families can be created in a number of different ways. These include same-sex couples and polyamorous relationships. 

Although it's considered a taboo in our culture, for many people, the idea of living a life with just one lover doesn't make sense. And, as many of these AskReddit responses prove, it does not come in the way of fostering a healthy household and a productive child.

Source list available at the end.

My childhood felt typical. I had a dad and a mom, and they had a girlfriend that lived with us. Their girlfriend did not really act as a parent to me. It was more like having one of my parent's friends around all the time. Being a child without any concept of sexuality (until puberty), it seemed pretty normal to me that my dad would smooch my mom and then smooch Janet when he left or came home. It just [looked] like love and it never bothered me. Kids at school didn't really know about it. My parents tended to tone it down around my friends.

There was a lot of love in our home. That's pretty much the only thing that [seemed] different to me. Compared to my friends whose parents were divorced or always fighting, I wouldn't change a thing about how I grew up or my parents poly relationship.


That's pretty much exactly how my parents were. Over the course of 15 years, my dad had three significant girlfriends (at different times) all while he was still married to my mom. It just seemed normal to me, [and] it wasn't until 6th grade, that I realized that everyone else's family wasn't like mine. Around that time, my friends all of a sudden weren't allowed to come over to my house anymore, which is [because] their parents had found out about Kelly, my dad's GF at the time. I don't have any qualms with what my parents did. They were always very open [and] honest about the whole thing with us kids. But the way everyone else reacted felt like [terrible] to me as a child. It forced me to get pretty good at lying [and] taught me to put walls up [and] not to trust others, which is probably the most negative thing about the whole situation.


From [around] 7 [to] 17, my parents were in a polyamorous relationship of sorts. It was my mother, my father, and another woman [who] I'll call "D". She lived in the house with us and was romantically involved with my mother at least. She did [sort of act as a] third parent in many ways and, throughout most of that time, I would say I had a happy and loving childhood. I didn't feel strange about it, and I don't remember ever being teased until I got older, [so] I would just tell my friends she was my parents' friend who was living with us. When she left, my mother was very upset and did not want her to communicate with my sister and I anymore, so I have not heard from her in years. I'm 24 now, and my parents divorced about 3 years ago.


My dad has a few wives. I have a lot of half brothers and sisters. I don't like it one bit. He doesn't treat my mom well. I was always embarrassed about it when I reached high school. I never told anyone about it. Hope we can get out [of it] soon [and] away from his control. Personally, I don't like the lifestyle, but that is just me. I know [this is] corny and cheesy, but I hope I find my true love/ soul mate one day. I want to have fun too.


I was in a polyamorous relationship for a couple years with a woman who already had kids. Her other partner lived in another country so it didn't feel as 'wrong' to me. I'm pretty vanilla. The kids themselves were various ages, up to 18, and they were all used to their mother's lifestyle and were open to different sexualities. When you grow up with it and your mother is frank and open about it then it seems to work. It seemed to work for them, but [it] just wasn't for me. I hung around because I genuinely cared about the mother, but I wanted something more 'normal' in the end. I hope it worked out for her in the end.


I have friends in a triad who have a couple [of] young kids. From what I've seen, it's like having three parents, which is great for them. [The kids] probably don't think so though. Having an extra parent means a lot fewer incidences of no one remembering to ask if they've done their homework and cleaned their room before they're allowed to play video games. Those kids almost never [got] away with anything (and not for lack of trying).


Not my parents, but I was a daycare worker for some poly parents. [There] was this lady (who had three kids) her husband and her girlfriend, and they all lived in the same house. I had no idea how to address their relationship, so I [never did]. It did confuse me at first because the lady was obviously in a relationship with her husband and with her girlfriend but, in the end, it [doesn't] matter. The kids had just another person who could pick them up from daycare.


My parents were in a long-term polyamorous relationship while I was growing up. I didn't really realize it, and [once] I did, I think I just blocked it out [cause] it was normal. 

When I was 8 and my little brother 5, one of my parent's friends was visiting more often and that was cool. Then, she [started] staying with us a lot, in [the] spare room, and that was cool too. We liked her. Eventually, she moved in and so did her cat. I liked her cat. She always had her own room although she never seemed to spend too much time in it, I didn't question it.

She was our border as far as I was concerned. It was completely normal to have another random adult just live with us and be semi aunt/parent/thing ish because she paid board [you] know? [It] was a business arrangement. My dad tried to talk to me about it once, but we're both very awkward people and we [got] awkward over it, [so] I blocked it from my memory.

Eventually, [they] broke up. [It was at] about the [same] time [that] I was moving out of [the house] at 18. She'd been part of my life for 10 or so years. I still keep in touch occasionally. We [even] had a good chat a few months after it happened where we talked about it from her point of view, how she'd always said coming in that we were a family unit and if anything happened she always knew it [would be] her that would [have to] leave. I don't know all [of] the details, and I don't really want to.

My parents have a new lady now that they're seeing, a few years later. They introduced her one day when I went round. "Hey, you know how X was a thing? Well, this is Y, and she's a new similar thing." Doesn't live with them. Is a cool [woman]. Happy for them [if it makes them] happy.


I was the third person in a polyamorous relationship for about six months. I was the girlfriend to a married couple. Between the two of them, they had three kids, all from previous relationships, none together. I actually bonded really well with the kids. I'm still in touch with the two girls, one of whom is an adult now. Unfortunately, that relationship was not at all a good example of what polyamory is. For one thing, there was deceit and that's poison to any relationship, but especially to a polyamorous one. Basically, everything is exponentially greater in poly relationships, whether it's good or bad. So, the bad stuff was really bad. Neither of them told me that their marriage was already on the rocks, that they'd been in counseling and given themselves a year to work it out or they'd divorce. So, I felt like bringing me in was a very poorly thought out bid to revive their relationship, and I very much resented being put in the middle of their very melodramatic and hysterical arguments. 

I stuck around as long as I did basically for the kids because I felt like I was the only one trying to shield them from their parents' craziness. The youngest had no clue what the true nature of our relationship was, but the older two did. It never seemed like much of an issue [to] them. I would have liked to sit down and talk with the older two, but the parents insisted they didn't want to do that. So, everyone basically acted like I was a friend who slept over. Their marriage wound up falling apart and they divorced. All around, it was a bad experience for everyone, but again, it was because it was done all wrong. There was no honesty and openness, and that doomed the relationship from the start.

Now, I'm in a wonderful, happy, loving, honest marriage. He and I have threesomes fairly often, and there's one woman we've been seeing regularly for several months. She's become a good friend. I don't know that we've labeled it polyamory, but we definitely all care for each other. It's working out well because we're all very honest and open and able to talk to each other when things come up, as they inevitably do. My husband and I have a son who's three, so he's too young to understand more than that we have a friend over. As he gets older, I plan to scale back so that it's not quite so obvious what's going on, and then when he gets old enough to understand, answer any questions [that] he has in an honest and age-appropriate way. 

I hope to show him that relationships don't have to be one thing or another. There is no "right" kind of relationship, just the one that works for you and your partner(s). As long as there is love and honesty, you can make it work.


I didn't even know my parents were polyamorous until a few years ago (mid-20s). Growing up, I just had a lot of "uncles" and "aunts", and I thought it was funny my parents had so many close friends. It was a running joke for my sister and [me], then it turned out to be real, and [it] got funnier.


My partner and her husband had their first child at the start of this year. While it's too early to draw anything long-term out of this, what I can tell you is that having three primary caregivers seems to be much easier than having just [one or two]. Two feels like it ought to be the minimum. I [have] no idea how single parents cope!


My dad married two wives. My mom is his second wife. It's [going to] sound horrible, but my dad married my mom because he wasn't happy with his first wife. Growing up, I was always pressured to be my best (I try, but I'm pretty average) because of my half siblings. My half siblings are leeches. I don't even acknowledge them as my own blood. Dad is retired, living on [a] pension, and they [are] grown adults with their own families and kids and still asks for my [Dad's] money.

Dad and first wife married because he [got] her [pregnant], and back then it was a taboo [topic] to be pregnant before being married so they [had] a quick ceremony. I only recently knew this little tidbit when my mom told me, but I wasn't surprised. 

Overall, I'd say I'm an okay kid. I'm 23 now. No one else knows about my dad having two wives other than my ex. Growing up, I never really cared much about my other family. My mom taught me well. My dad's first wife pretty much let her own kids run amok. My half sister got [pregnant] at 16, married and divorced with five kids by the age of 32. My half brother got married twice - and twice my dad had to pay for the wedding because he couldn't afford it. [My] half [brother] still [didn't] pay him back a single cent, yet tells him sob stories about how he can't afford to pay xx bills with his meager salary. My other two half siblings are no better.


Weighing in as the parent:

It is really going to depend on [a number of] things. The type of relationship between the adults, the type of relationship between those adults and the child, the adults' fitness as parents regardless of the relationship, the support of the connected families, etc.

I believe our situation will produce a wonderful child.

There are three total, in a V relationship. The [third] is the biological parent of the child with one of the married couple. However, the relationship well predates the child. We had lived together for several years before the pregnancy and had time to bond as a family. Now that we have a baby, everyone acts as a direct parent of the child. Someday, we will have to tell her all [of] the details and we haven't yet made a plan for that, but hopefully, by the time we get to that point, it will not matter. We all love her and show her affection regularly.

Additionally, we have support from our families. I'm certain they have their own views about it as they are all monogamous but, as far as we've seen, everyone is happy to have an (or another) child in their lives. They have all been very loving and accepting.

Then, to top it off, we are all educated with a variety of interests and a large group of friends of all sorts who expand the types of possibilities that our daughter will be exposed to, and two of us have experience raising children, though none of our own.

Our daughter is very happy (at almost one) and [is] well attended to with the support of a family that will encourage her to excel in whatever she chooses to pursue, a family who will expose her to a large variety of skills and interests, and a family that will be by her side through whatever may come.

We are lucky to have such a situation and I am not [at] shame to say that I expect we will end up with a bright, happy, well rounded, contributing member of society. Not all children of a polyamorous relationship will be [delt] such a wonderful hand in life but, likewise, neither will all children of monogamous relationships.


I'm in a triad with my husband and my BF, and we have all been raising our son for long enough that he does not remember having only two parents. Some days, he has three people, in ten minutes, checking if he took his medication. Other days, three people forget to tell him to go to bed because he is suddenly magically silent downstairs, and we all think the other person told him. 


My dad has two wives.

It's not that different to any other household. I don't mention it to other people. The wives live in different houses, so I never see his second wife. I see my half siblings once or twice a year. My dad spends more time living with us, but it wasn't like that when I was younger.

EDIT: Actually, he has three. I forgot he got married again last year when he went back to his home country. However, he married this girl to provide for her as she had no family (I think her parents recently died). I don't think it's sexual. It's frowned upon for a woman to receive financial help from a man who is not [her] family or husband. So, he married her to help her out.

My brother and my mother [have] met her. My mom likes her because she [would help] her around the house when she went to visit her home country.


Well, I've been polyamorous for about 15 years, with my second wife and our shared girlfriend, then again after she passed with my current Fiancee.

My 4 kids have always known [that] we are polyamorous, and frankly [they] don't care at all. They have never thought much about it and are perfectly accepting of various people they've been introduced to that we have sex with or that we engage with amorously.

I know all that because we've all had good long discussions about polyamory, and I've always made sure my lifestyle doesn't impact theirs negatively. They feel perfectly comfortable asking me questions about my relationships with other people, sex, and any other question they might have because I simply do not hide the truth from them.

My parents are accepting (as is my Fiancee's parents) of our polyamorous lifestyle. Although, I know they secretly don't understand it themselves.


In my house, my husband and I had two kids before our partner joined us, so they call him by his first name. Then again, they called their father by his first name for a while [too] (no big deal here). Now, we are expecting a baby, and this will be my partner's first offspring. We are all very excited and have not [yet] decided exactly what everyone will call each other. But we all love and respect each other, so we will work it out.


I always think it's sad that polyamorous families feel they have to tone down their affection to avoid being judged.


I've been poly 15+ years. I always ask the children of my [partners] and other poly friends how they feel.

Well, for the young ones, they don't know any different. I mean their school friends are different, but there are now families with two mommies or two daddies or gramps and grams or a ton of other permutations. They just seem to accept that there are more people at home to play games or go sledding or talk incessantly too. They get to go to parties with tons of adults to complain to or dote on them or sneak them extra goodies- and lots of kids that they have something in common with.

Now, the older kids (10-ish to 20-ish) have a more colorful spectrum of opinions. Shockingly, being embarrassed was not something I heard. They were worried about what divorce would mean- How would the dynamic work? Would they lose their non-legal parents? They [were] worried they might feel pressure or jokes or other such embarrassments when they enter the dating world. Would their parents tease them about being mono or poly? Would becoming poly mean turning their lives into their parent's lives? 

"My mom was so broken up after her 6-year relationship ended. She has never had those problems with dad. I never want to go through that. I am only falling in love once." 

"We are so happy when DeDe comes to visit us or calls us, even though she is no longer with our parents! We love her and miss her!" 

"I wanna have two boyfriends and a girlfriend. I think that would be the right ratio. Mom didn't get it right. She needs another guy in her life."

So, the thing is I have gotten very similar answers from monogamous couple's children. In the end, it comes down to the quality of general parenting, an open door policy when it comes to answers that the children have, and always encouraging children to pick their own paths when it comes to their romantic relationships.

Oh, and it shouldn't have to be said, but introducing new love interests too soon or having unhealthy and/or abusive relationships are bad for the children involved. Physical violence, emotional manipulation, sexual predatory behaviors, and [a child witnessing] drug/alcohol/partying behaviors can slant a child away from wanting [anything to do] with anything their parents do, including a number of romantic partners.



Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like


My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308


My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango


I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina


With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3



I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold


Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.

I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-


Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.

An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451


Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence


How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster


My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"



It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?


I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)

The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.


Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.

I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.


Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.


Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.



Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.




3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.


Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.


Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.


Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.



My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.



How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).

How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.


Dogs and Chocolate


I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.


Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.


Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.


Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.


Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.


Stars In Their Multitude


I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.



My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.


Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.


Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...


Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.