IRL

People Who Married Their First Significant Other Reveal How They Knew They Were The One

Apparently true love does exist, and so does love at first sight. These lucky people found "the one" and shared their stories. Meanwhile, cats are great.

giantclan asked those who married their first boyfriend/girlfriend: What made you decide they were the one despite never being with anyone else?

Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.


40. I can't even get a text back.

When I was 18 I was heavily into sports and gaming, and I had no time for anything else. Everyday after work was just hours of volleyball, ultimate Frisbee, basketball.

After that I would head to a friend's house for dinner and video games, rinse and repeat pretty much every day. During the winter we would get season passes and hit the mountain for snowboarding 40-50x a season.

Well during that year my friend invited a whole bunch of people one weekend, and one of his friends sister came along. She had never snowboarded before, and she was completely deaf, but damn if she wasn't the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

I blew my friends off and spent the entire day guiding her down the bunny slopes over and over. Couldn't even talk to her because I didn't know sign language, but we didn't care.

Had the best time ever. Cut to one month later and I'm driving to her town 4hrs away every Friday right after work, and coming home 4hrs every Sunday evening.

3 months later we said "screw it" and got engaged. Two years later we were married. That was about 13yrs ago, and now the only thing I do is hang out with her every day.

I am a professional sign language interpreter (because of her) and we have awesome kids (also because of her). The concept of girls and dating wasn't really a priority for me at the time, until she came out of no where like a sack of bricks lol.

The funny part was she turned me down the first few times I asked her out too! But sometimes when you know, you just know.

kirtur

 39. A perfect compliment.

I guess you can say my wife was my first and only serious relationship. By the time I'd asked her out, I'd already known her for 5 or 6 years.

I really fell for her after she accepted my faults. I know I'm not easy to be around. I'm impulsive toward things I want to do, I'm arrogant in certain things.

She accepted all of that. Meanwhile, she told me about her faults, they are not many but one big one is staying at home is extremely painful to her.

I guess that's why we are fit for each other. I can be impulsive and tell her I wanna go to the Grand Tetons at 3 AM, and at 4 AM we are on our way. She's happy she's not at home, I'm happy I can go adventure.

ioriyukii

I'm curious about staying at home being painful, could you clarify that?

ET318

It causes her depression if she stays indoors too long. She grew up in a household in Switzerland that was next to the mountain side.

She would go up every day to avoid her squished home (her parents and three sisters). Now she gets down in the dumps if we stay home all the time.

ioriyukii

38. When you know, you know.

She's been my best friend from the moment we became friends. I could tell very early on that she was a gentle and loving person who cares for people out of the good of her heart.

She accepts me for who I am and all my weirdness and we both embrace each other's flaws. Shes always inspired me to be a better person in a way no one else has.

She may be my first and only, but I've seen enough unhealthy, toxic, and abusive relationships second hand to know that a woman like my wife comes along once in a lifetime and I didn't want to let her pass me by.

We love each other more every day.

funkyjiveturkey

Good for you, this is wonderful but I wish whomever is cutting onions would stop it right now please.

Lord_Slong

37. Numbers don't lie.

Because he makes me the best version of me. We also have gone through so many hard times and we got through them stronger.

Also not for nothing but we share a significant proportion of our SSNs. The government thought we were meant to be so who are we to fight that fate.

rmmacmas

My husband and I share a good amount of our SSNs too! I thought it was super coincidental, but now I'm positive it's a government conspiracy.

MrsCountryNerd

36. 17 years later, still cute.

She just... was. I don't know how to explain it. We were friends for a couple of months beforehand, both played trombone and had a similar sense of humor, and she wanted to include me in stuff.

I liked her as a person, appreciated her kindness and wit and beauty, and had a crush.

She kissed me one night, and the world changed. Spent a lot of time talking with her, fell full-on in love, and kept finding more and more things to love about her.

That was a bit over 17 years ago, and we've been married for the last 13. People still call us cute, and it's occasionally hilarious to correct people that think we're newlyweds or only married for one or two years.

We support each other in ways I'd never thought possible, and really understand and know each other on an intuitive level. It's a wonderful experience.

(My writing might be flat! My feelings aren't.)

Zogamizer

I stopped at "friends who both played trombone" because, honestly, that's enough right there.

You were meant for each other.

RangeWilson

35. Yeah yeah yeah.

I met my husband in 1st grade, started dating when we were 14, and got married at 19 :) This May makes 9 years married.

Anyway, we just always clicked with each other and got along very well.

Instead of growing apart like most kids do, we grew together. He's a very kind man who has always been there for me. Even as teenagers, we never had a reason to break up because we got along so well.

To this day, he is my very best friend. I can't imagine anyone better than him.

Bela_Ivy

Instead of growing apart like most kids do, we grew together.

I couldn't agree more, this is so true. People like you and me that started dating their SO at a relatively young age still had so much growing up to do. But we were lucky to be able to do all that growing up in harmony with our SO, only forging our bond stronger in the process.

Laka_the_Lorejunk

34. What an analogy.

You know how you went with either an iPhone or an Android as your first phone, and pretty much stuck by it ever since? And even though you never tried the other phone, you still fanboy your own phone choice?

Because it does everything you need it to do and you think it looks damn good and you're comfortable with it? Yep.

Except my ex-fiancée, after 9 years, on a whim, decided she wanted to try an iPhone instead. She seems happy with it. Thank god we never signed the phone contract.

ThroMoFoSho

I ended up having to sever my contract with my ex because he was too comfortable with month to month contracts. Always leaving me on the edge if he was going to sign up with another month of service or not.

sweetbabygreen

Dealing with this now

Sure the contract is affordable and I've been on the same month to month plan for years. But, there sure are a lot of outages every month and being on a month to month contract is losing the appeal. It might be time to switch providers.

TechnicalScrub

33. A perfect partnership. 

She's really cool. I'm pretty weird and she's perfectly fine with that. We've been together for a little over 14 years, survived HS and college together (she was only one bridge away), went to grad school together (though in different programs), and now work in the same profession (though at different schools). There's no one else I'd want to do all of this with.

replytoallen

32. Good for you. -_____-

The summer after 8th grade, a mutual friend knew him through church and told me I'd like him. He called that night, and I swear to you, I fell in love with him just by hearing his voice on the phone.

He was 16 and I was 14. He drove over the next day, and I knew the second I saw him I loved him.

We've barely been apart since then. We started actually dating, like for real, when I was 16 and he was 18. He went away to college, and we both stayed in trouble for racking up long distance phone bills.

I resorted to finding all the loose change I could find, and would call him from a pay phone. We'd talk until all my loose change was gone. I'd hang up and cry bc I missed him so much.

He stayed away at college for a year. Came home, and started at local college bc he didn't want to leave me again. We ended up going through college together.

Got out, bought and ran a business together. Got married. Continued working side by side for the next decade.

We had a baby about 2 years after we married. We'd trade off shifts, so one of us was always with our child, or we'd bring her with us to work.

We've now been married for 15 years, and together for 24 years. He's my best friend, and the love of my life. I would never change a thing, and never once have I felt like I missed out on other guys.

It's always just been him. People say when you know, you know. And, I can definitely say I knew. He's my everything, and I know without a doubt he feels the same bc he shows me everyday with his actions and his words.

Talulahly

31. If the cat approves, you're golden.

I had gone on a couple first dates before, but never wanted to commit to continue dating anyone because it was just not worth the anxiety it caused.

So I met my (now) husband at work. Our first date lasted 36 hours. We stayed up all night in my apartment after our first date watching comedy specials and snuggling. My skittish cat was all over him too and I knew I was gonna keep this guy.

I've had this weird thing my whole life where I just don't like to be touched or touch anyone. Brief hugs are tolerable, but someone touching my arm or accidentally brushing by me would really ruin my day and make me anxious.

My own mother can throw me into a full blown panic attack sometimes. I have never had that reaction with my husband. I only ever feel safe and comfortable in his arms and I always find myself absentmindedly rubbing his back, arms or running my fingers through his hair.

what-in-the-actual

30. How cute.

My SO said it was the moment that I drove him two hours to go to a Warhammer Cafe in Dallas despite not having a personal interest. And then staying there until it closed while he geeked out and bought stuff.

He wasn't my first boyfriend, but I was his first girlfriend. The day after we went to the cafe, I surprised him at home with a steak dinner for Valentines Day. He surprised me with a ring.

Getting married next year!

tisvava18

29. Yeah yeah yeah.

As someone in her first serious relationship (22), I'm loving all of these wonderful stories. Gives me hope for me and my sweet guy :) cheers to you all!💘

snoopwook'

Same, I'm 21 and been with my boyfriend for 2 years now and going strong! I hope we will be able to tell a similar story in 20 or more years(:

MiS_Schuey

I've been dating my first and current girlfriend for almost seven years now. We first met in Jr. High/middle school but didn't really get to know each other till high school.

We both agree on how we want our life to be, like kids and such. Really we're just waiting to get married till we get our lives in order.

While I'm not 100% happy with missing out on the experience of "the dating game," I see it as hitting a hole in one and being sad I didn't get to hit the ball more, which is kinda dumb.

I'm more then happy to take this opportunity thanks to being as lucky as I could of been. Every time I think of her I smile and I love her company. She defiantly has changed my life for the better.

Bekerson

28. Cats are still a viable option.

He was and is everything I ever wanted in a partner. Just sitting in the same room with him lifts my spirits. We don't need to talk or interact for me to just feel better (though talking and interacting is also awesome).

Being in his presence is like being in a warm, loving glow.

I have never had a desire to be with anyone else after him. He's the first and only. I don't see why anyone would need to compare or shop around after finding the perfect mate - and he is perfect for me.

DerHoggenCatten

I completely feel the same way about my fiancé (we get married in October!) Just touching her makes me feel better, when she comes home i feel like I'm on cloud nine.

Ive never had any interest in another women since I was 13 when we met. There has never been or ever will be another woman for me.

redraven4455

27. Organic love is goals af.

Social anxiety. We somehow started just fooling around with each other but it turned into a relationship so we never really "dated."

The mere thought of dating, being rejected, needing to decide was enough for both of us not to call it quits when things don't go smoothly.

Slowly we also realized that isn't really the reason we're together and we really like each other. Been together for 12 years now and we love each other like crazy.

justtryingtokeepup

26. You had me at Taco Bell.

Multiple reasons.

  • When we first met, I naturally gravitated towars him and he gravitated towards me despite being with people I knew better and being very introverted and shy.

  • I was poor growing up so when we went out with friends to Taco Bell on the FIRST DAY WE MET I didnt buy anything. He gave me his nachos because he was "full." My husband is a big guy who doesn't get full easily.

  • He is a sweet guy who didnt pressure me into a relationship at all. We met in 2008 but didnt start officially dating until 2012.
  • His birthday is August 19th. If you calculate 9 months and one day later (a typical average of human gestation), that day is May 20th. Which is my birthday. We joke that I was literally made for him.

There are so many other little things but these stand out to me as special and unique.

zojo93

25. Again, cats.

I'm not married yet but I wanna give my 2 cents.

Nearly finished university now, and I've been dating my current girlfriend for about 7 years now. I couldn't even really tell you why we've been together so long, but if I had to give a reason it'd probably be that we're best friends.

We've never had fights that we could work through, we both don't know what the hells going on with becoming adults so we're there for each other.

We have different interests, but not so vastly different that were incompatible. I like cars, she doesn't know a Kia from a Ford, but she'll still occasionally come out to car meets with my group.

She's never been on snowmobiles or quads or the like, so I take her for rides. I've never been to a concert, so she brought me to one.

I guess a big reason we're together still is that we're best friends learning how to get through life together.

PM_YOUR_BUTTOCKS

24. If it ain't broke...

First serious relationship, it felt right and why would I even want to change it? Married 6+ years.

forepan

23. My demons and I get along swimmingly.

For me, I had kind of chased another girl around for maybe a year or two. After that time I realized she and I just didn't have the same priorities and goals in life (I was 17 she was 19).

After she went to school I had met another girl and she really liked me for who I was and didn't make me try to change who I was and never stupidly played hard to get while making self destructive choices in her life.

The more we hung out the closer we got and then once we started dating I just kind of knew after the first month this was who I would be with.

Sounds super cliche but it's true, we've been together 9 years and married for 5 with a lot more on the horizon!

Obi_Wan_Gebroni

22. I mean, this is a problem many would like to have.

If you're picking your SO based on how they compare to the other people you've been with, you'll eventually forget why you made that choice.

billbucket

21. For the third time - get a cat!

This thread was a mistake to read before going to bed alone. One week after my first boyfriend and love dumped me.

[deleted]

20. Oh I remember that party.

I met my husband in college and we just clicked right away. It was an actual love at first sight situation. From there, nothing came along to indicate we should break up. It's kinda that simple. If it ain't broke, marry it.

I just got lucky right outta the gate. My first boyfriend wasn't a psychopath and I was in a place emotionally to be accepting of a serious relationship.

I think one of the benefits to finding "THE ONE" so early is that, since you're not done growing, the two of you can grow together. It's like a retirement account. We put the work in early, so it's paying off more. I'm not bothered by the idea that I didn't get my heart broken a bunch and I didn't have to deal with tindr.

halesfyeah

19. Well that's just super duper.

I can tolerate her being around for long periods and more importantly, she can tolerate me being around for long periods.

Besides, she's totally out of my league and there's no way I can get anyone better than her lol. And she thinks the same about me!

MagosBiologis

18. How sweet.

He wasn't my first bf but the first person I slept with.

He's been by my side through a lot of tough times...we broke up and slept with different people and he struggled through the pain of repairing the damage, he was there when my mom passed away, he stood by me when I was an absolute b!tch.

And the connection is still super strong, the most intense love I've ever felt with anyone ever

firetop12

17. The olden days sound legit.

My grandparents met at their church when they were 8 and 10, and in eight months they will be celebrating 50 years.

I asked my grandma this question after seeing this, and she said: "he just seemed like a great guy who genuinely cared about me, and I'm happy to say I was right!" When I asked my grandpa, he said, "I knew since we were first dating that she was the one.

We just fit together like bread and butter." Anyway, great question!

Pxlate2

16. I'm into it.

This was in the early 2000s when people would still throw around gay slurs as insults. I was in high school and, being the introvert that I was, holed myself up in the library.

Back then he was an acquaintance, and happened to be walking by. Scared the sh*t out of me when he saw what I was drawing (yaoi).

Instead of reacting the usual manner (ew, gross, etc) he said "woah, that's some really nice art. Robin's my favorite superhero!"

Right then I knew he was the one because my art had been of Robin and Beast Boy furiously making out.

coturnixxx

15. Hmph.

Picture it. High school 1986-1988. I met my husband on the first day of school (junior yr), but went out with a few guys before my husband.

In '87, our senior year, he asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes. What won me over was his ability to make me laugh and to make me feel like I'm the best thing in the world.

I'd never felt like that before. Fast forwarded 30 yrs being together, 27 yrs married. He's the love of my life and he still makes me laugh.

Kidminder

14. I bet they waited until she was 18.

Met at 15...married at 29...

We are best friends. And I knew he would always love me and cherish me and treat me well. Everything else is a bonus.

Extra bonus points for his hilarious sense of humor. Life can suck but a well timed joke or a happy smile can make a world of difference. <3

GMU2012

13. What's the secret?

I'm 24 and have been with my partner since I was 16 and he was 17. We did 4 years of long distance while he was in college, and then 2 more when I finished up my degree in a city about an hour away from him.

I used to think I was missing out on something and that we should break up for the sake of making sure he was "the one" by experiencing relationships with other people.

Then I realized that's stupid and I'm not going to leave my best friend on the off chance that we might break up some time in the future.

crunchycantaloupe

12. If at first you don't succeed...

We just got married in July but we've been together for 8 years all together. We dated in high school but I broke up with him.... Twice.

He never let's me forget that either. He makes me happy and that's what I wanted from a relationship.

There is something special about growing up and learning to love someone else and having that person teach you how to love yourself as well.

Suma_Chan

11. Love should always be organic.

She's a very good person. My dad told me not to let her go. Our friendship was pretty effortless.

The only argument for letting her go was the fact that I was young(19) and hadn't experienced other people.

She went to school in another state, we kept it going. Perhaps if either of us had met someone, we would have naturally broken up, but we didn't.

We rejoined, then did the long distance thing again. Then moved in together. Grew together. By the time we were married, we'd been together for 7 years. Marriage changed nothing.

The strength of our bond grew over time. It wasn't like we were destined to be together forever at 19, but after years of really enjoying eachother, you ask yourself why wouldn't you stay together?

sleepwalkermusic

10. No ragrets.

She makes up for my flaws. I like to think I make up for hers.

We are both happy and I couldn't imagine my life without her. I honestly just feel lucky that we met each other. Even though it took a few years, marriage was something we always saw as the next step forward.

No regrets from me.

Friendee

9. I still don't get it lol

We started dating in high school and just kind of... stuck together? It's not all romantic and squishy, but there was just never a reason not to split up, so we didn't.

There was no moment of "omg, he's the one" just "hey, you make me happy and I like your face. If you feel the same way we should see how long we can keep this going" and then "Well sh*t, I guess we'll get the government involved now" when he joined the Army and we got married.

This year will be 19 years of "just keeping this going" and 15 years of marriage. I still like his face.

DarthSkittles

8. I dated a roommate once. Once.

Everything was just.. easy. I've never thought about breaking up or been curious about being with someone else.

We met as flatmates and we just clicked. One day we realised we'd basically been dating for months - waiting for each other to come home, going for walks, long conversations, meeting each other's friends.

Married for three years, together for seven. I've never wanted anything more than him.

pilpy

7. Get you a partner who is human Xanax.

I am 50 and my wife is 49, we met when we were 10 and married at 18. I can be a fairly high strung guy, I've always had some form of anxiety.

The first time I met her I instantly noticed I wasn't jittery or anxious. When she left the anxiety and jitters returned. I was in 7th grade, sitting in math class and was having a horrible day.

In the midst of my constant frustration I look up and she in the hallway waving me out. I get my hallpass, we walk around the to "blind" corner and she kissed me for the first time! I was shocked and she said, "I been waiting for the perfect time. I don't know why but right now felt like the perfect time."

She skipped back to class, after school I told her I was going to marry her because she makes me happy.

EDIT: Wife says thank-you for the gold and she plans to keep it all to herself!

5seriesexperience

6. No catfish here.

We met online when I was 16, and he was 18. We lived on opposite sides of the country so didn't meet in person until 18 months later, but we talked for hours everyday.

Everyone in our chatroom joked how we were gonna get married one day before we'd even admitted to ourselves we liked each other.

Instant sparks when we met in person. I'd never really been attracted to anyone before, and I usually hated being touched, but we were instantly snuggly and had our first kiss a week in (we were so cute).

After that, we were long distance. I went to the UK for a year after finishing high school, and I feel like during that time we were sort of going out but maybe not fully?

But either way, any day I didn't talk to him was pretty crap. I would go out of my way while backpacking to get online (back in the days of internet cafes and dialup!) to send him emails lol.

We made it official when I got back to Aus, and we both told our families and we finally met up for the second time when I was 19 and he was 21.

We then did long distance for 6 years. And during that time we only saw each other in person maybe twice a year, and at no point did either of us want to be with anyone else.

We questioned whether we could make -us- work because of the distance, and it was really hard, but we never wanted to not be with each other 😊

I feel like that's how we really knew? We're both pretty antisocial, so finding someone you really like is pretty rare lol.So it's been 16 years now since we met online, we have 2 kids and have been married 4 years on Thursday. Still not interested in anyone else 😁

fuggerit

5. Just like cats.

We can chill in silence together, doing our own things ands it's comfortable. I love just being around him, it makes me happy that he encourages me to have my own interests and wants to spend time with me while I pursue them.

He also helps me to learn about things I wouldn't usually find interesting, and he's patient with me when he's teaching me things.

Viperbowstring

4. Chef Boyardestiny.

She was the only person who I could tolerate talking to for more than 5 minutes. Like I despise social interactions. I don't hate peple. I'm just shy, introverted, and socially awkward. And with her I don't feel that.

I'm 30 when I married btw. So it's not like I was inexperienced in being alone. meeting her was like finding gold in your bowl of cold Spaghetti-Os

FriendlyAutist

3. Where's the fun in freaking out alone?

He was the first non family member that saw me have a panic attack and not freak out. That was a big thing for me. Plus he literally is my best friend. Best friends first, husband and wife second.

Becagator

2. Imagine not needing nudes.

Shortly after graduating college, I thought I would just give the whole "online dating" scene a try.

Thought he was really cute and nice to talk to. I wasn't immediately in love. I never am and in the past, I would've thought this was a no-go.

But I just told myself there was no harm in going on another date because it was fun anyway. Then we went on another one. And then another one. And another.

I was not intending on marrying him at first, but there was never any reason to say no to his invites to go on a date or hang out. I always enjoyed myself and liked him just a little bit more each time I saw him.

Then I started to really look forward to seeing him. And caring about him. I always thought he was cute but the attraction to him grew.

He surprised me throughout getting to know him with how wonderful he was not only to me but to others as well. He was (and continues to be) wonderful to my friends and family.

We shared a lot of great memories and adventures together. But we went through some really tough times together too. Even when things were bad and felt like they were falling apart, things were always good with us. That's true even now. I never have to worry about us.

We recently got married. I don't feel like I need to be with anyone else to know that with him, I'm happy and I'm home.

ellie_wankenobi

1. If you can't keep it in your pants... keep it in the family.

Its weirdly a family tradition...

... my dad married his first girlfriend (who had not "been with" any previous boyfriends) and they had two perfect daughters (unbiased fact).

We both ended up marrying our first boyfriends, and we were both their first girlfriends. (I think with my brother in law, could be wrong for him) my cousin also married his jr. High sweetheart, so I am pretty sure they were both each other's first partners.

But I can only speak for myself.

For me, any time I came close to dating someone I would stop it before it ever happened. On some level, I knew they weren't right, and I didn't really want to spend my time proving that.

I had a high interest in having a deep relationship and almost none in "having fun." By the time I went on my first date with my now husband, we were already good friends and I knew he was a very good guy and we were very compatible partners.

So half my answer is that I trusted myself before I even started dating him, not allowing a lot of being with other people to test the waters.

When I ended up getting engaged there were a couple of things that still bothered me, and I wasnt sure if I would regret having not played around more. (Namely, we have a very low-physical chemistry despite having a very high mental chemistry) what really sunk it were two things.

(1) I wanted to see "our" kids. Not his, not mine... our. And I am not really a kid person. This clued me-personally into realizing that we were physically compatible enough, my biology wanted to mix with his (as horribly scientific and unromantic as that sounds)... but more importantly...

(2) I knew he was the one I wanted I the end. He was the one I wanted to grumble about "kids these days" and to poke in the nursing home. Yeah, there might be some things that I could have experienced with other guys (or hey, even girls) that I choose never to have - but I get to grow old with this dude. For me, that was the key thing.

It also helped (for my own anxiety mind) that the very best marriage I ever have know is my parents, and they pretty much were their one and only.

My family is filled with loyal romantics, and it makes it easier to believe/trust. My husband comes from a family of super messy divorces and remarriage and drama, I have no idea how he trusted me and kept, but he does describe it as one of the scariest things he has ever done.

For context, we have been married for 5 years, started dating 9 years ago, have been friends for 11 years, and have known each other for 19 years. We are 28 years old.

chrissycm

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