Waiters Share The Worst First Dates They've Seen Unfold

Waiters Share The Worst First Dates They've Seen Unfold

We have all Witnessed those couples who are on their first date and it is awkward as all heck! Cute, but so awkward. Waiters are one of the only people who get to interact with a couple on a first date, and they are serving us up some juicy first date stories.

Username-Checks-Outt asks:

Servers of Reddit, what's the most awkward date you've seen unfold?

The secret escape

To preface, I work in a restaurant where we make our own ketchup and some people just don't like it. Fine, whatever, if you're nice I'll bring you the secret Heinz ketchup as long as you don't tell anyone. Anyway, a woman is seated at my table looking super excited and tells me she's on a blind date. She orders a glass of wine and waits anxiously, how cute right? So this dude shows up on his phone, ignores my hostess, and eventually finds this beautiful women waiting for him. He continued to talk on his phone for like, 15 minutes, and when he finally hung up I went to the table. He tried to order for her which obviously embarrassed her, and for himself ordered a well done steak and fries. When I brought it to him he asked for A1 and REAL ketchup. When I informed him we had neither he grunted and said he had ketchup packets in his truck. As soon as he walked out the door she asked for her half of the check and her food to go. I helped her leave out the side door before he could even come back. It was awkward serving him after that. He used 7 ketchup packets.

Major foul

My first day at my first job as a server at a sushi restaurant (17 at the time with minimal people skills lol).

I had just checked in an older woman possibly in her early 60's/late 50's with a young man who couldn't have been older than 25. Midway thru their meal I went to check up on them asking, "aw, are you taking Mom out today?". They both turned with straight faces and the young man answered, "she's my girlfriend."

I whispered an apology and just peeled myself away

The suspense is killing us

Date I witnessed

Guy pulls out chair for girl, she doesn't realize what he is doing, awkward pause

Sits down, guy clears throat and starts coughing because he cleared it to hard or something

She doesn't know what to do, ignores him picks up the menu

Waiter comes she asks her date if he knows what's good, he says he'll have what she is having, hands menu to waiter, she orders seafood, awkward pause, he is allergic to seafood takes the menu back and looks for another minute, waiter says he can come back, he says no he'll have a steak, waiter leaves

They sit staring, not quietly looking around or at their phones, staring at each other in silence until food comes which they eat in silence

My gf at the time and i were on the edge of our seats waiting for something to happen

You cannot order for a stranger

Tinder date. Guy keeps ordering for the girl.

He ordered her drink (liquor) which she corrected to a glass of wine. Then he ordered her some soup, which she stated she didn't want. Then he ordered her meal (shrimp scampi), which she corrected to chicken marsala because she is allergic to shellfish.

She was very sweet and I'm assuming was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. Until something took a turn and she poured her wine on his head and stormed out.

The one good thing about him though... he tipped the hell out of me. like almost 60% tip on an already expensive meal.

I would kill to find out what he said to make this seemingly sweet girl pour cabernet all over him.

What a jerk!

It was clearly a blind date. Neither were comfortable at all. Dropped off drinks, both were polite, dropped off food, asked how everything was, the guy rolled his eyes and said "well the food is great I just wish SHE would TALK more". Girl's face went tomato red and I dropped off the check shortly after. Poor girl

Nice and formal

I once saw a guy shake his dates hand when she reached over to grab some bread.

The most painful meal

The couple broke up.

He dumped her toward the beginning. Girl cried while giving her order. They finished their whole meal, dessert and all.

When you don't speak your wife's language

Couple in their 50's came in, husband asked if anyone spoke mandarin, (Chinese restaurant) I brought out the owner. Turns out, they are married, the wife just arrived from China, she doesnt speak any english, the husband didnt speak and mandarin.

The owner ended up sitting with them for a half hour translating...

When a date has chaperones

I had a teenage couple come accompanied by a parent.

Playing to impress

Oversaw this waiting for take out at a sushi place.

Around 3ish, a guy comes in and explains to the staff that he was coming in later that night with a date, and that he wants them to come out with a roll and say "hi so and so, nice to see you again, this is on the house"

The waitress gave him the most blank look so he explained the whole thing again, emphasizing how he would actually pay for the roll now.

I should have gone back later to see how that played out.

The ghost third wheel

We had a middle-aged lady come in with a gentleman. They asked for 3 menus. I went over to the table to introduce myself and ask if they were waiting for one more. The woman said no her husband is here and then the two physically at the table ordered drinks and a water.

When I came back to drop off the drinks her "date" was in the bathroom. The lady explained to me that her husband had died a few years ago and this guy (a friend) kept asking to go out. So she said yes but insisted her DEAD HUSBAND come with them. This is why they had 3 menus. She instructed me to bring her husband up as often as possible, pretend that I knew him and make sure I ask if he's having anything for dinner when I took their dinner order. She would refer to him just as if he was sitting right there. I then heard her tell this guy all night that he tries too hard and he's kind of mean.

I do not miss working in the restaurant industry.

When the drugs kick in and a threesome is expected

I worked at a nice Italian restaurant a couple years ago. One night a couple came in and specifically asked to sit in my section. I had no idea who they were, but the host said they looked at me and asked to sit there because they "vibe with me". Whatever, so I start taking their order and talking with them, and they were acting very odd. They were being over the top friendly, super touchy feely with each other, and just kind of moving all weird. Finally they tell me that tonight was their date night so they decided to take LSD and come get steak and pasta. I don't really know why they wanted to to do it, but they were nice enough. When they were leaving they tried to get my number to "hang out" later.

When things get crazy before the date shows up

Used to bartend/waitress at a pub back in the day.

One evening a guy comes in and sits down at a table for two. I go ask him if he want a drink. He orders a drink and tells me that he is waiting for a girl he's meeting for a date to order food.

He waits for a bit and I served him a couple drinks. An hour passes, He's looking at his phone occasionally and drinking. He finally comes up to the bar after an hour and a half, and tells me he thinks he's been stood up.

That's rough man. He orders a couple drinks neat and pounds them back. He's starting to look and sound considerably worse for wear at this point. He ordered a couple more drinks and I told him to wait a bit. He convinced me to get them for him by telling me he was going to drink them and leave. So he downs the drink and get up to leave.

Who should walk in the door as he's turning to go, his date. She was still wearing scrubs and looked pretty disheveled. She apologized up one side and down the other for being late.

I then got to serve one of the most awkward dates ever. He was drunk, like I probably shouldn't have gave him that last drink drunk. They make some small talk and it's terribly awkward. He gets up and goes to the bathroom.

20 minutes go by and he doesn't come back. Finally one of the male servers walk up and tells her that her date is having some troubles in the bathroom. He was sitting on the toilet bawling.

We asked her to get him out of there. We called him a cab and she pretty much shoved him into it and ran.

you gotta do what you gotta do

I waited tables during college. The most awkward date I've saw unfold at that time was a lady in her mid-30's who got stood up. Like an hour in, she was still waiting and drinking her 3rd glass of wine. It was really sad to see her come to the realization that her date stood her up. But by that time, she had 3 glasses of wine in her and she ordered food and just talked with random wait staff from time to time and I'm fairly certain ended up convincing one of the waiter who was getting off his shift to go home with her.

Watch the shoes

Probably the one where the guy's choice of footwear was such a turn off that the woman didn't even sit down with him. She left before he even saw that she came in.

What a pig

I was not a server at the time BUT .... My boyfriend and I went out to dinner one night and sitting directly in front of us was a middle aged man wearing basketball shorts, a t-shirt and flip flops with socks. He had ordered himself a large appetizer and was drinking a beer. Five minutes later, this younger, attractive , very nicely dressed woman came in and sat with him. You could tell by the look on her face that this was a first date and not was she expected. By this time, he had already ate most of the appetizer and was very loudly talking about how tiny her body was and how he's a big man that likes to be in charge. We felt terrible for this girl! She was very mousy and seemed too sweet to say anything. He kept trying to get her to take shots with him and then was commenting about her having to crash at his place. It was time to leave so we made the bartender aware that the girl look to be uncomfortable.

Worst case scenario

I once was a server at a very upscale French restaurant in NYC. One evening a middle-aged man and a young woman are sat in my section, clearly on a date. You could tell this woman was his mistress by the way they interacted with each other. They were high maintenance but pleasant enough. Right after they had received their entrees, the man looks across the way to another table and loses all the color in his face. His date noticed and turned to see what he was looking at. The mans wife was at another table, also on a date with her side piece, on the other side of the restaurant. The wife sees him and has the same expression on her face, which very quickly turns to rage. She briskly walks over to his table and starts whisper-yelling at him, pointing her finger right in his face. He starts to do the same back at her. This isn't a very big restaurant, everyone knows what's going on and the atmosphere gets icy. The mans date is just staring at her plate, absolutely mortified. The wife's date pretends nothing is happening and continues eating. Eventually, the wife storms back over to her table and wolfs down her dinner (no exaggeration, she was like rage eating). He sits down and his mistress won't speak to him for the rest of the meal. This is a fine dining restaurant and they ordered multiple courses. Having to clear, crumb, and reset their table two more times was less than fun. He left a very big tip and apologized on the way out.

The hit and run

Not a date but the end result was the guy paying for the girl's meal and drinks.

VERY chatty woman in her early 20's was at the bar and ordering more than a few drinks, probably 5 or 6 cocktails and a few beers. Did I mention this was the middle of the day? Guy sits next to her and they end up chatting, good for them. It's time for her to leave and she hands me a credit card which is of course declined. She apologizes and fishes around for another credit card. This one is declined as well. She gets a little pouty and plays the woe is me card. White Knight next to her swoops in and says not to worry, he'll pay the bill, which is around $100. I guess he was expecting to get some and take her home, but as soon as he paid and the card went through she fast walked out of the place and was never seen again.

The first fight

In high school I worked as a buffet attendant/ waiter because the waitstaff sucked and I would end up getting people their drinks and even taking orders on occasion. Anyway a man and woman come in and I take their drink order. I somewhat recognized the woman as the mother of a guy from my high school and I know his parents were getting a divorce and well about 5 to 10 minutes after they arrived I see the soon to be ex husband storm in and he and the date get into a fist fight in the middle of the restaurant. It was a bit late so it was not as full but it basically shut Down the restaurant for about an hour because of all the cops and stuff.

This man is a liar

I was a server at a place that had a special for "all you can eat riblets", this was in some time in 2000. Man and woman come in, get seated in my section. Dude was a little dingy, looked to be in his early 30's, she was much better put together, I guessed late 20's. Got orders, drinks, they both did the riblet thing, they spent about 3 hours there. During that time the guy also asked me about how I liked working there and if we were hiring for kitchen help. I got him an application and he filled it out. While I was giving it over to the manager they tried to leave. They managed to get to their car, they even would have managed to get away if the battery wasn't dead. My manager and I went out to give him his bill, he explained he didn't have any money, so my manager started to call the police. His date stepped up and paid for the bill and gave me a heafty tip. She said he had told her he'd already paid while she was in the restroom, didn't really believe her, but it didn't matter much. She called for a cab after that, the guy was still trying to start his car at 11pm when I left.

Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like


My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308


My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango


I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina


With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3



I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold


Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.

I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-


Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.

An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451


Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence


How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster


My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"



It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?


I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)

The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.


Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.

I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.


Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.


Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.



Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.




3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.


Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.


Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.


Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.



My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.



How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).

How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.


Dogs and Chocolate


I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.


Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.


Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.


Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.


Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.


Stars In Their Multitude


I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.



My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.


Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.


Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...


Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.